Dear Mystery Mate

Chapter Four

A journal entry from Alpha Colby Lubin of New Moon Pack

Monday, January 7th, 2013

To my dearest mate,

Once again, my naivety got the better of me. This weekend has been one of the most stressful since I stepped into the role of Alpha in full. Just like with my father's passing and with the rebellion, everything is happening so quickly that I haven't gotten a chance to catch my breath and I feel like no matter what I am doing, I am failing. My mother says that it won't always be like this, but I have my doubts. It seems like every other alpha has everything together so well and I am the only one who can't stand on their own.

On top of all of that, the thought of letting down my father's legacy is really weighing on my mind. One thing my father always did was get ahead of a situation before it became a problem. Problems find me before I can even recognize that they are a problem.

My mother was supposed to hold off on taking the potion of Elder until the end of the month and help me with her transition. That was the plan that we set up, and it has completely fallen apart. As of today, I am on my own as a leader and I am completely unprepared.

Let me run you through my weekend just so you can see how unprepared I was for today:

Friday morning we learned that our Elder had passed.

Friday midday we assigned an Omega to plan the funeral for the Elder, which will be held this coming Wednesday.

Friday afternoon - after a lot of brainstorming and interviews - it was decided that my mother should take the role of Elder and we sent out an email to the Alpha King of the Crescent Pack Circle about our decision.

Saturday morning we got a response. They accept my mother for the position and plan to expedite the process due to the fact that we have no other representation in the Crescent Pack Circle at the moment.

Saturday midday we assigned another Omega to plan my mother's Departure Ceremony and Elder Ceremony for the end of the month.

Saturday afternoon we get an email from the Crescent Pack Circle that she is welcome to step into the role as soon as Monday and the paperwork can be done later. Apparently, Tuesday the Crescent Pack Circle will be hearing a plea from the Gibbous Pack Circle, they are requesting that our pack circle join them in the war or at least send more aid. If she doesn't take the role, then we will not have any representation in that important decision. If we could get our pack circle to join the war, it will go a long way to gain true vengeance for my father.

Saturday night we planned a half-ass ceremony to take place Sunday morning.

Sunday morning we have the most pathetic and short ceremony to ever happen in our pack.

Sunday midday she left, hoping to make it to the Alpha King's palace by Monday mid-day.

It was an absolute whirlwind and I'm still trying to wrap my head around what happened. As shocked as I am now while writing this all to you, it's nothing compared to how I felt Saturday when she decided that she was going to leave early.

While the thought of ruling without her help terrified me, even though I knew it was going to come one day. When it came I wanted to make sure the transition of her leaving would help solidify how strong I am as a leader to the rest of my pack. Like my father, I wanted to think ahead of situations. I had this whole speech in my head of what I would say at my mother's going away ceremony. I had even been practicing with my wolf Kano. I wanted to appear strong and confident.

Saturday morning, before the email that stated that she could take the position early came in, I was only half done with my speech. Kano still thought it sounded too winy. After my mother read the email, she immediately went to work ching our entire timeline without checking with me to see if it was ok. Unfortunately, there were other pack members in the room when we read the email - namely my Beta Kia, and her Gama Audrey. I really wanted to ask her to slow down, but there was no way I wanted it to go into the official record that I had a hard time letting go of my mom or have it come off as me asking her permission to do my job.