Weight of the World

Chapter Fifty-Seven

—Tregaar—

They returned to Watcher's Edge with what remained of Eclipse. It wasn't much, and many of those they brought with them were either already dead or dying. But it was all they could manage. Idelle staggered away from Hubert when she felt her feet touch solid ground once more, separating herself to try and reconcile what she had seen. That was—monstrous.

A sharp cry escaped her as pain flooded her body. Idelle clutched her head as she fell to her knees. Everything was rushing back in a tidal wave. Everything. Every moment she spent with her family. Her mother, father, Aunt Teryn, Uncle Baloren. Every world she had traversed. Valdornne, Andavaran, Velara, Medyulana, Alfheim, Midgard. Every friend she had made. D'rundri. Duncan. Isaac. Rhaena. Eyje. Every kiss shared with Lulu. The first, the last, the proposal. Every encounter with Ori, shared laughter and stories echoing through her mind, the warmth and love she felt for her dearest cousin. It was drowning her. The memories breaking over her so quickly she couldn't breathe.

Kiverryn. Svartalfheim. Velara. The Grave. Valdornne. Medyulana. Every step she had taken on her journey with Lulu to gain the Compass, all the way up to the moment her hands clasped around the ancient device. The feeling of dying. The darkness and silence that had followed. The anguish of being revived. The desperation of not remembering. And now, the utter agony of finally having every piece of herself returned.

It was all too much.

A hand touched her shoulder. The faces of everyone she loved flickered through her mind until, at last, the memories stopped, revealing Hubert kneeling in front of her, golden eyes watching her carefully. He seemed to know she had remembered. But it was not just him kneeling with her. Behind him, Dante and Gaia, her dearest friends, all focused on her, concern etched on their faces.

She had been afraid to remember, afraid that her memories would make her forget her new friends, would replace those relationships she made over the last year. They had become as much of a family to her as her own, and the thought of leaving them—hurt. But now that she remembered everything, she realized those new memories she had made, the feelings, the friendship, the love—all of it remained. Idelle surged forward and kissed Hubert so fiercely he toppled over, arms wrapping around her quickly to hold her steady as she kissed him upon that dirty floor. Dante and Gaia chuckled quietly nearby, but Idelle couldn't bring herself to care. She pulled back, looking into Hubert's concerned and apprehensive gaze.

"I love you," she breathed against his lips. "I remember everything, and I still love you."

Hubert was speechless, his arms tightening around her. Idelle smiled.

"I love her too," she confessed, pushing on quickly when Hubert's gaze wavered. "I'll always love her, Hubert. Lulu was my...first and everything. But I...What she did at the Sanctuary, her hatred for...nearly everything...Her disregard for the consequences. Part of me wonders if she even cares Ori and I died to get the Garden for her. I...Did she even find her dad?" Idelle shook her head. "Part of me will always love her, but...I have both memories. Of being Idelle and the Astral One."

Hubert reached up, hands framing her face. "You are only Idelle."

Her lips trembled. "And see? That's why I love you. Remembering everything...I was so afraid that when everything came back that one life would replace another, that I wouldn't have the choice to decide for myself which life I wanted. But I can choose. I can decide to stay here with you or to find Lulu. And I choose you."