I'm Scared To Get Close, I Hate Being Alone! // An Oli Sykes Fanfic

~ Chapter 18 ~

"Hey baby," I whisper as I watch Oli's eye open from his sleep.

"Hi," I watch as he tries to move in slight pain.

"You okay?" I ask, gently brushing my fingers along his face.

"Just some cramp. I can't remember much of last night, what happened?"

"Erm, you accused me of sleeping with Austin and then had a nervous breakdown and after that you basically just blacked out," I say with a slight laugh. I watch as Olis face turns to disappointment before pulling a face of pain.

"Are you sure your okay, Oli?"

"I'm sorry Amelia, I'm...I'm just going through a little at the moment."

"You know you can tell me anything, I'm your girlfriend remember?"

"I know, I know I just... I just don't think that," I watch as he takes a long gulp showing difficulty in speaking, "I don't think we should be together any more."

His words hit me like a sack of bricks to the face as my heart dropped, possibly out of my skin.

"Wha...what do you mean?"

"Amelia, I love you and you know that and I don't think I could ever stop but," I watch as he sat up and faced me, taking my hand in his. He took a deep breath before, "sometimes things happen to people that people love and its not fair if they stay with the people that love them. Sometimes things just go wrong and its not fair to hurt the people around you when you can protect them. Does that make sense?"

"What do you mean, what's happened?" My mind was racing, what does he mean? Nothings happened to anyone to hurt anyone. Maybe he was talking about Alix but what has that got to do with our relationship?

"Amelia, you don't need to know what's happened that's why I'm telling you this, I don't want to hurt you.

"Oli tell me what's going on now!"

"Amelia, please." I watch as tears begin to role down his face as he begins to grip my hand tighter and I watch as his face begins to look away, unable to look anywhere near me. And that's when it hit me. Something was wrong and something bad.

I lowered my tone and softened my voice, "what's happened?"

"I'm sick Amelia," he begins to cry heavy, the sobs filling the room. I held him tight, tight in my arms and close to my chest until I couldn't breathe I don't think he could either.

"What do you mean your sick, darling," I held his chin up and stroked his face and then I watched as he locked his eyes with me.

"I have...cancer."

His words hit, hit me in a way you couldn't describe. I guess I was sad, or that I was supposed to be but I wasn't. I mean I wasn't happy but I wasn't sad, I wasn't surprised, joyful, sad, depressed I was nothing. I couldn't think, breathe or do anything but be frozen. I was frozen.

I watched him cry and I guess I was supposed to but I didn't. I didn't shed a tear, nothing.

I heard the phone ring from down stairs and without a second thought I was running down the stairs, leaving Oli in bed. I guess I felt normal, like nothing had really changed or happened. I found it buzzing on the counter top; I picked it up to hear

"Hello, is this Miss Amelia Pixie?"

"Yes?"

"Hello darling, I'm sorry but I have some bad news," her voice instantly fell to a soft, pitying tone.

"What? What's wrong?"

"I was hoping you could make a visit down to the hospital, I'm afraid its urgent." My heart instantaneously sunk, "I'll be right there." I put down the phone, my heart racing, before shouting at the top of my lungs, "Oli, it was the hospital, its urgent." I heard Oli rush down the stairs and I was greeted by his swollen, teary-eyed face. I ran straight up to him and hugged him, like I've never hugged him before.

"I still love you Oli and I'm still going to be with you and help you and we will have a long serious talk about this but right now Alix is in trouble." I watched as his eyes began to fill up before nodding and taking his hand in mine and then heading to the car.

————————————————————————————————————————————————————

"Miss Pixie?" I hear a lady call as we take a step into the hospital. I jog straight over to the desk where the lady who had called my name was standing.

"Yeah, that's me. Is Alix okay?"

"Hunny," she took my hand in hers and looked my in the eyes, her voice soft and quiet so I could barley hear it.

"Your friend Alix unfortunately... she died at 10:08 this morning. I am so, so sorry for your loss." Before I know it my sobs filled the room as tears ran down my face like a waterfall.

I fell to the floor in a mess, screaming my sobs as Oli held me in his arms. I sat in his lap, my body the shape of a ball, whilst he held me so tight that I couldn't breathe and honestly I didn't want to be able to. Suddenly everything that I loved was stripped from me. The pain was unbearable, a lump in my throat. I screamed in agony and pain not caring that everyone in the building could hear me all I cared about was Alix. Was she in pain? Did she do this purposefully? Every question that could possibly be was running through my head.

And then it hit me...

My sobs became louder and now they were just screams of pain. Oli has cancer. My boyfriend has cancer. Is he in pain? I

 love Alix. She was everything to me. She gave me happiness, a second chance at life. She showed me things I'd never experienced before but now she's gone. She's truly gone. I couldn't stress enough of how much I blamed myself. Maybe she was sad, depressed and I just chose to ignore it.

But Oli. I knew he was special from the moment I set my eyes on him. His long sweepy hair. His hazel brown eyes. He gave me something that I am forever grateful for. He gave me something special as though it was a love that would last an eternity but now this. Now it was ripped from us. I know he may just have a touch of cancer. Some serious working on and he's clean, right? But what if its not like that, what if he doesn't make it.

What if he doesn't survive?

A/N – Ngl, had a lot of tears in this chapter so erm... sorry its super sad.

(Also thank you to everyone whose read this far).