Shadows

V

The slamming of my bedroom door brought Miss Young scurrying to my side. I stood in the midst of the room, my shoulders heaving. My heart beat wildly. Every encounter with Charlotte Plumb brought me closer to the breaking point. Her crude laughter jarred me, and her loud voice sent shivers down my spine.

When Joel brought that woman into our family, he brought shame to the Everstow name. Surely he knew better than to attach himself to someone so low and uncouth. I clenched my fists and pounded them into my thighs.

"Whatever is the matter, Priscilla?" Claudia Young asked, approaching me from behind. Her gentle hands massaged my trembling shoulders.

"Oh, 'tis nothing really," I responded, swiping at my moist cheeks. "It's just..." Turning swiftly, I wrapped the governess in my arms and burst into tears.

"There, there," my teacher gently soothed. She led me to the bed and made me sit down. Perching beside me, she drew me close to her side. "Tell me exactly what happened."

I drew in my breath to suppress my sobs. Dear Miss Young. She arrived in my life when I turned six years old. For ten years, she instructed me, and we became close friends. I knew I could rely on her and speak with confidence.

"When I went to read to Mama tonight, that woman was already with her," I finally began. "She treated me like a child and made me feel unimportant."

"I'm sure she didn't mean to," Miss Young stated, clasping my hand and squeezing it. "Perhaps she had a few things to discuss with your mother. The wedding, perhaps?"

"Yes, the wedding," I agreed, sighing. "Do you think Joel actually means to follow through with it? I mean...well...Miss Charlotte is horrid. She will become an Everstow, and she doesn't fit in here, exactly."

"Perhaps she will learn," my governess flatly suggested. "You'll have to give her time. She's still new here. It will take a bit for her to catch on."

"If she ever catches on..." I let my voice trail away. Did people like Charlotte Plumb ever catch on, or did they expect everyone to stoop to their level?

"Time will tell, Priscilla," Claudia Young stated, rising. "Get a good night's sleep; perhaps things will look better in the morning." She bent to kiss my cheek gently, then bade me goodnight.

"Goodnight, Miss Young," I called back, sinking into my pillow. When the door closed, I turned around and stared into my canopy. My mind flashed on a picture of Joel's naked body hovering above Charlotte Plumb in the garden summerhouse. I cringed and wondered at my elder brother's actions.

I felt much closer to Grayson than I did to Joel. My older sibling remained distant from us, although we shared the same schoolroom. Papa raised him to become the next Lord Everstow, giving him more privileges than his younger children. Naturally, Joel became the most important figure in our lives. The family held him to a much higher standard.

Tall and lean, Joel resembled Papa. He kept his brown hair trimmed short and combed it neatly to the side. His blue eyes turned into limpid pools when he read poetry aloud, but they could also become cold and distant when challenged. When we rode together, Joel edged his horse close to Mr. Blanchard and spoke to him about attending Oxford University. Gray and I kept behind them while Miss Young brought up the rear.

I could not recall participating in a real conversation with my older brother. While I grew closer to Grayson, Joel drifted further away. When he left for University, I barely missed him. Gray and I continued our lives as though nothing untoward had happened.

Joel's return did not draw him closer to me. I felt his shame even though he chose to ignore it. I wondered if Papa felt disappointed. His high expectations for his oldest son seemed to diminish significantly.