𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐧; conrad fisher

2

2 - West Coast

For the next five years, I spent each and every Summer with the Conklin's and the Fisher's at Cousin's beach.

There was never a dull moment in those Summers. I was either beating the boys in every video game possible (though they'd always sworn they were going 'easy on me'), watching Disney Channel with Belly, cannonballing into their pool, or learning how to surf with Conrad. My life revolved around my home here in Cousin's beach. In the months where I was back in my parent's house, during nights where the screaming and drinking persisted, I would think back to my memories in Cousin's–counting down the days before I could finally return again. Susannah's house was the only place that felt like home to me, and I longed for Summer to arrive every year so that I could go back.

However, unbeknownst to me, the Summer of 2016 would be my final time at the beach house.

After yet-another picture-perfect Summer at Cousin's beach, I was stripped from my fantasy-world and brought straight back to reality when I came home to my mother sitting at the dining table with an empty bottle of wine beside her.

I would never forget the way she looked at me that day. Baggy eyed, teary-faced, with frown lines that now seemed permanent. She told me then that she had finally divorced my father.

The news of this absolutely broke me. I knew that it was only inevitable that they would separate, but deep inside I always held this small sense of hope that maybe, just maybe, our family could go back to normal. My parents would find a resolution to their problems, and we'd be able to all go to Cousin's over Summer break and finally be just like all of the other happy families there. It was stupid, I knew that, but I couldn't help but feel that way. However, it was what my mother said next that would truly rock my world.

"Start packing. We're moving to California."

My heart dropped, "What?"

"We're going to go to your grandparent's house in Santa Monica. I'm sorry, I really am. I know how much you're going to miss Steven and going to the beach house every summer."

"Wait..." I paused, "I- I can't go to Cousin's anymore!?"

Suddenly the whole room was spinning, and I couldn't feel my own two feet on the floor, surely none of this could be real. It all felt like it was straight out of a nightmare.

"I'm not going to be able to afford to fly you out every Summer. I can't, I- I just quit my job. This isn't going to be easy for any of us," She began to raise her voice, but I could tell it was more out of her own heartbreak than of anger towards me, "I didn't want it to be like this. I was looking out for you all of these years, that's why I stuck it out so long with your dad but– I just can't take it anymore."

She began to sob, but I couldn't bring myself to console her. I was absolutely shattered. Without Cousin's beach, or Steven, or Conrad, or Belly and Jeremiah there was nothing. I was nothing. There was this sharp pain in my chest that burned from the knowledge that my life had just fallen apart. I couldn't remember how to breathe. I stumbled backwards and panted, feeling the room close in on me. I was having a panic attack, the first in five years. Though this time, it was greater. It was a culmination of all of the hurt, resentment, and fear I felt. I ran to my room and called Steven, desperately hoping that he would pick up.

His face finally showed up on my screen, "Hey what's up, did you leave something in the ca–wait, what's wrong."

I explained everything in between sobs, and after the realization of what had happened finally dawned on him, Steven became incredibly emotional as well.