《DNF Love Letters》

《To my George》

To the one who has captured my heart,

Hi

How are you?

Have you been taking care of yourself?

I hope you're doing okay

I know you're doing okay

I believe you're doing okay

You're not okay

I found all of your letters

Why didn't you tell me?

Why didn't you tell me that you needed help?

Why didn't you tell me that you were suffering in silence for years?

Why didn't you tell me

About your scars

Why did you do that to yourself?

To your amazing and perfect self

I never should have left you alone

I never should have left the house

I never should have go and get your anniversary gift

You are more important than any shiny jewelry

Seeing you there lifelessly on the bathroom floor

Holding a coloured pill bottle I didn't even knew we had

When I came back home

Made it felt like time has stopped

Just like your heartbeat

I didn't hesitate to drop everything I was holding

So I would get you to the nearest hospital

But

You never even made it to the emergency room

When your pulse was already gone

No one knew how much I cried that day

Except for Karl and Sapnap

With your funeral not making it any better

I couldn't focus on anything at that moment

Besides your pale and motionless face that I couldn't get my eyes to leave at

I trailed soft kisses all over face and kept whispering 'I love you's' to your ear before I sat back down

I didn't took your ring off when they are about to close your casket

Just so I would always remember who my heart belonged to first by looking at mine

It will be you and always you my dear

Then the realization cut me deeper than a knife to the chest

I'll never get to hold you close again

And I'll never get to see you again

I seriously can't replace you

And even if I did find someone new

It won't be anyone like you

It won't be someone who has brown mesmerizing eyes that I can stare at