I'll Be Your Shadow

Another Option

A few days had passed and Bishop was growing more and more anxious about not seeing her wife. Coming back from a twenty-four-hour shift she was tired but all she could think about was Carina and how she wanted to see her. So she immediately got in the car and drove to Grey Sloan. Bishop walked over to the reception desk at the OB ward. Sitting there was an older woman in her fifties with short curly salt and pepper hair. Well, I haven't seen you in a while! The woman said cheerfully in a British accent. Hey Carla, Maya said with a grin on her face. Carla was the sweetest nurse ever, she travelled to Seattle from the UK years back when she met her Italian American husband. She always wears the cutest scrubs too. Anytime Maya would visit Carina, while Maya was waiting for her, Maya would often stand by Carla's desk and the kind nurse would ask all kinds of questions about firefighting since her grandson is in the fire academy. And what can I do for you my darling? I am looking for my wife, Maya says with a smile. I think she is finishing up with a patient right now. Oh, okay I will wait for her then says Bishop. I was speaking to Dr Deluca about some authentic Italian recipes to test on Anthony (Carla's husband) I guess Carina is a different sort of Italian than Tony, I don't think Tony has ever been to Italy, Carla says with a laugh. Maya didn't normally say much when she'd stop by Carla's desk, not because Maya didn't want to speak, but because the nurse had a way of rambling. And how are you doing Carla? I love today's scrubs! said, Maya. They had little fire trucks on them because her grandson had passed his exams at the fire academy. Maya got more information than needed about her grandson and his graduation but Carla had an adorable way of telling stories so Maya stood there smiling and nodding. After a mostly one-sided conversation with Carla for a bit, Maya said she'd sit in Carina's office and wait for her since she had been on her feet all day. See you around Carla, have a good night Maya said smiling. Thank you, you too bye-bye now Carla replied. Bishop took a seat in Carina's very comfy office chair, Bishop, jokingly thought if the doctor thing didn't work out she could be a great interior designer, her office space was very pretty. On Deluca's desk were the essentials, a picture of her and Andrea on a ski trip in Switzerland, a picture of Carina when she was a child hugging a family dog and most importantly a picture of Maya and Carina on their wedding day. Deluca walked in beaming to see her wife. Bambina! When did you get off of work? Carina says. Ten, Maya says as she walks over to kiss her wife. They embrace and kiss each other for a bit. I've missed you, my love, Maya says, me too Carina replies. Carina's arms wrap around Maya's neck, and Maya wraps her arms around Carina's waist. How was your shift? Deluca asks. Fine, just long Bishop answers. When are you getting off again? Bishop says. Not for another two hours, Deluca says exhausted. Thank you for seeing me Amor mio says Carina, Maya replies with a kiss. Carina lovingly kisses her back. They kiss again, each deceleration of love and longing getting more and more passionate. Deluca locks the door and leans up against it biting her lip while staring at Maya. Bishop's heart starts beating fast her sports watch starts flashing warning notifications, She cups Deluca's cheek and they passionately kiss by the door. Carina rubs her hands all over Maya while she takes Maya's jacket off sensually, I wish you could impregnate me right now, suddenly Carina stops, I'm sorry she says. Maya short of breath replies, that's okay. No, I shouldn't have said that to you it's not fair Bishop looks at her wife with slight concern. Carina starts pacing around the room. Maya didn't take what Carina said as cruel, not that Carina meant it to be, besides Carina had a tendency to say wild things in bed usually ninety per cent in Italian, she thought she was just being sexy. It's been so hard these last few months barely seeing each other, I'm getting older Maya! I'm almost forty! It's hard to stay optimistic about this fertility thing, why can't we just "poof!" have a child? Maya walked over to Carina who was leaning on the front of her desk with her hands grabbing onto the side of the table. Maya started to stroke her wife's cheeks and wipe off the few tears Deluca had shed. Maya panicked on the inside, wanting to say the right thing to make her wife feel better but there was nothing one could say about this to make the suffering go away, they had discussed the struggle of fertility a few times before. Maya raised her beautiful wife's chin with her finger and looked into her eyes and said "I love you" sweetly, Carina softly smiled. Maya's presence calmed Deluca down, she wasn't asking for Maya to fix anything or to say the right thing, she just wanted to be near her wife she hadn't been close to in so long while she was experiencing these difficult uncertainties. I've always wanted to have kids, I want to experience pregnancy I want us to experience that together Carina says with watered eyes. I know, I know Maya says empathetically. Bishop reaches for Deluca's hand, I don't know if this is the right time to bring this up but (Bishop stops herself) I um, I've been thinking a lot about this and I've talked to Diane excessively. I'm willing to carry as another option. Carina looked at Maya surprised, but what about working at the station you would have to be on leave for your whole pregnancy, you already gave up your Captaincy Maya. I know, but I want to do this, I am a different person since I met you, I never wanted children until I met you I love this life that we've built together, yes we've had our ups and downs but I wouldn't want to go through everything that has taken place without you next to me, you are a part of me, my love, you're my shadow. I love being a firefighter! It was my everything until you came along I want you, I want us more than promotions and badges. Bishops still wanted a successful firefighting career but she didn't want it more than Carina. Please, let me do this for you. Carina was speechless, Deluca had waited endlessly for Bishop to get better during those horrible months they were separated, back then she never thought they'd be here. Maya had grown so much. Hearing her wife say all these things melted every inch of her body how did she get so lucky to have a spouse like Maya she thought. Bishop started getting nervous because Carina hadn't said anything. Did I say something wrong? Bishop says, no my love quite the opposite, I didn't think I could love you any more than I already do Bambina. Carina gives Maya a soft kiss on the cheek, I got a call today from Dr Bennett the fertility specialist, he said we have an appointment on Tuesday morning, and maybe we can discuss the possibility of you carrying if it comes to that Carina says smiling. Going in for a kiss Maya says sounds good, Carina nonverbally agrees while kissing Maya back. Suddenly Deluca's pager goes off. Carina frustratingly moans, resting her forehead on Maya's forehead she says, I have to go, Maya pretends to ignore her and continues to kiss her. Maya! Carina chuckles. They go back to resting on each other foreheads, I don't want to leave you Carina says pouting, I don't want to leave you either Maya says. Carina reluctantly walks to the door to unlock it, I'll see you in a few hours okay my love? Maya walks out with her and gives her a goodbye kiss, I love you Maya says, I love you too Bambina Carina says.