"Bloody hell" // Fnaf

Thoughts

Evans thoughts - 1st & 3rd person

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Panic attacks, nausea, hyperarousal, insomnia, violent behavior, dissociative amnesia...

Evan asks himself a question he asked hundreds of times before.

"Is this normal?" Although he already knew the answer, he refuses to accept it. It made him feel as if he was weird, singled out, and had no one to talk or relate to. As if he was alone.

Drip, drip, drip

Water falls from the ceiling and to the cold floor as Evan begins to think more about his notable and negative behaviors as a way of reflecting upon things.

He hated staying near where the animatronics were, it gave him overwhelming, and vivid flashbacks about something he couldn't quite point out.

However, though it may have been vague, it also gave him panic attacks, negative sensations, and emotions that felt as if he was experiencing the most tragic events of his life at that very moment.

"Why?" He asked. These question felt more and more like he was interrogating himself honestly.

-- But that's not the point.

...,

Anyway.

Another thing was how untrusting and vigilant...maybe a little too untrusting and vigilant, Evan is.

Well, maybe this was normal. For him and the other children at least. Nobody trusted anybody. It was a game of lies and manipulation for the entities-- a game where everybody looses no matter how much you gained by playing.

Or, maybe you just loose your sense of hope and trust in the world and those in it after seeing the horrific and brutal things people do for their own selfish, greedy needs.

...Possibly, but not totally.

Drip, drip, drip

Sometimes, Evan feels numb, emotionless, almost. But other times, all his rations are deleted, and all that's left is his compulsive nature. His cries and anger.

Those cries and anger are heard by no one, he shuts all of the help away. Yet, for some reason, there's always gonna be a part of him that wants a companion. A friend, or, whatever you want to call it.

Weird, right? Sometimes, he doesn't understand himself. What he's thinking-- heck, he doesn't even trust himself at this point. So...is that what's makes him so different? Does that make him abnormal?...or something.

Drip, drip, drip

Tick, tick, tick

Evan flinches, immediately perking his head up, and looking behind, somebody has intruded his peace.

He looks around, a bit panicked, seeing a figure that he can somewhat make out.

Messy black pigtails, yellow shirt, ripped jumper, tinted a slight grey...ah, it was Cassidy, apparently.

The panic he once had slowly turned into a feeling of annoyance, seeing Cassidy as nothing but a mere rat that disturbed his peace and quiet.

Turning his head back, he asked, "What the hell do you want Cassidy?" In the lowest voice he could muster up.

That random and seemingly innocent action had always been his way of indirectly telling the person he was talking to, to get out of his face. He wasn't sure if Cassidy ever got the message after all the decades together though.

Evan reluctantly caught himself. "Ah, I'm being moody again, better have more self control this time."

"I'm not here to pick a fight, so don't make me, Afton." Cassidy replies with imense spite in her voice.

"Can you get to the the point already?...Bloody hell..." Evan says in the nicest, possible way he could word it. Honestly, he would've preferred cussing Cassidy out at this point, but he didn't feel like it. This time, that is.

Cassidy forces a smile, "Come with me." She says, very straight forwardly.

"And why would I do that?" Evan asks her, again.

Cassidy answers with another question. "Your aware of the summoning situation, right?"

After taking time for a deep, slow breath, he answers, "Obviously. Now kindly elaborate."

"I've been looking in to it, and I realized it has something to do with the upstairs." She explains nonchalantly. Evan suddenly flinches.

"I'm not going there." Evan says, almost immediately.

"We're not. We're going someplace further." She mumbled the second statement under her breath. Evan squinted his eyes at her.

Evan starts questioning Cassidy's logic, saying; "You know we can't go somewhere further than the the upstairs without getting teleported back, right?"

"Well I have a solution for that."

"Ugh, just forget it, Cassidy. I'm not going anywhere." He replies, his tone seemed more lazy than impatient this time.

Cassidy grins. "You really are a dumbass!" She says playfully, though Evan could tell she was also starting to lose her patience. Cassidy suddenly drops her smile.

"Well, I'm leaving. I'm getting nothing out of this." She mumbles.

Those were the exact words Evan wanted her to say from the start-- but now he just he suddenly wants to know what she wants to offer. He hated making abrupt decisions like this in the worst possible moment.

Evan hated making decisions, perhaps it was why he sucked at picking what he really wanted to do in this situation, or kept changing his mind.

Though, as they say-- curiosity kills the cat. Except he was already dead. Mentally, Evan guesses. Since for whatever reason he decided to go with Cassidy anyway.

"Uhm, does going with you mean I don't have to stay here or the upstairs?" Evan asked, very quietly. Cassidy smirks.

"Huh, so that's what gets you to move? Well yea." She answers. Evan suddenly gets up from his previous siting position.

"Fine, but if you get in trouble, I'm not helping you."

"What if it was you who got in trouble? I'm not helping you either."

"I'll help myself." Evan answers.