running till my lungs breathe dry

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I had awoken to music coming from the lounge room, being in such a small home you could feel sound vibrate the walls, it was hard to ignore while trying to catch up on much needed sleep which was obvious by the dark bags under my eyes, I had made my way to my door and looked out to see a drunken kyle and Ben passed out, breathing thankfully.  I stepped over the man child's and turned down the radio. I knew they were gonna be in need of some Tylenol for there hangover, I made way to  the kitchen and preped some water bottles and Tylenol on the bench and cleaned up the mess from the takeout, Ben had left me some left overs. It's odd, he does the sweetest things but like a flower he loves to shower me but then pull at my petals the next day, I think the little consideration he has left for Me keeps me here. I ate the pad  Thai fast, I didn't eat before I fell asleep so i was ravenous.

Kyles girlfriend was always sweet, and I was thankful when she tagged along, but like me she dosnt drink. I miss her. She sometimes smacks reality into me, but reality fucking hurts, so my mind suffocates it with false hope that I cling onto.

"How disrespectful can you be?" I hear behind me, I jolt around to see a once passed out Ben to a heavy breathing, brows forrowed
6 foot asshole. When he's hungover he's even more pissed.

It's funny to think but when Ben's drunk, it's the sweetest I ever see him. "I was exhausted,  I'm sorry" I said as I felt like I had to apologise as he Rolled his eyes. "Seriously ainsley? Your lucky I even saved you some leftovers" he lectured, he always feels the need to point out good deeds, or to at least be recognised for them.
"Are you actually arguing with me while we have company?" I yelled in a whisper pointing out the passed out kyle to my right.

"Your really gonna speak to me like that?" He said as he pushed me against the kitchen counter sending my arm into the picture of us as it fell to the floor smashing, waking kyle up. I felt warm pressure on my hand and noticed the picture had gashed my hand.I looked at the picture and then back at my hand and then to Ben, the picture was of us when we first met. Look at us now. "Dude leave it be, this isn't worth it" Kyle snapped as he held ben back, this is the first time Kyle had ever seen us in a physical fight, I felt pins and needles run through me, as all my senses became over stimulated.  "Fuckkkk, how did we get here? What did i do for us to end up like this?" I screamed as I swung around to the door and slammed it behind me, started with a good two years to four rough ones. I started running, with nothing on my feet and left everything I owned behind. I felt the cold 3am wind rush down my dry throat as the blood trickled down my arm faster. I had always planned how this would go, I would always imagine leaving a note, kissing goodbye to the man I once loved, never thought it would end with me running in my pjs down the street with the only thing illuminating the street where the awfully dim streetlights.

I started choking on the cold air, as I ran from the house I was in for 6 long years it got further and further behind me. I didn't even see the face of Ben after what I said, but I saw kyle's, his face was as if he had read me like a book, realizing this fight wasn't a one off thing throughout the years of knowing us 

I ran for what seemed like forever, feeling the air I breathed turn my lungs dry as my airways tightened. I didn't know where I was running to, all I knew was what I was running from, i couldn't even tell where i was, as my vision was blury from the tears formulating in my eyes. I felt my feet give out as I fell to the concrete beneath me smacking hard into the ground as dirt flew up into my eyes from the impact, with my hands catching my fall i winced in pain as I clutched onto my injured hand. I stumbled from my knees to my feet, ignoring the grazes the impact had left behind. I tried to focus on my surroundings, but the dirt had burned my eyes which where wet from my tears. I see beaming lights as they approach me, my head started spinning as the lights blinded me as they got closer. i see the faint outline of a car as I feel my face turn Pale and run cold. I hear the sound of a car door shut and saw the shape of a what seemed to be a person step out of the vehicle, I felt myself spin, as all the lights infront of me pierced through me and ringing started playing in my ears, i tried to take steps back as my fight or flight response struggled to kick in, I felt my body drop backwards as everything turned grey and then into nothing.

Weird thing was, I didn't feel scared, I actually had all I needed.
A moment of silence
The thing I craved most.

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⏰ Last updated: Jan 30 ⏰

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