Wine Stained Dress

March 21st, 1861

Dear diary,
There's been talk of war. I overheard two men at church talking about it. It frightens me. If there's a war, Calvin will enlist and I will be alone. I don't know anyone in this town, and I'm not very good at making friends. I don't know what I'll do if a war begins. I can't be alone with myself. I'd go mad.

Raindrops tapped on the bedroom window. Taylor watched the beads of water roll down the glass, making bets with herself about which drop would make it to the sill first. The sound of the rain made Taylor drowsy. She desperately wanted to take an afternoon nap, but she knew that if Calvin found her sleeping in the middle of the day, things wouldn't end well.

Taylor paced around the room, trying to keep her worries at bay. She had a terrible habit of worrying too much. The rumors of war were driving her insane. The constant sound of the rain soothed her, though. She closed her eyes and tried to focus on other things, like counting how many seconds there were between each boom of thunder. Nothing seemed to help much. She needed to get out of the house, away from her own thoughts.

Calvin was downstairs in the parlor smoking a pipe and drinking a glass of whiskey; this was a very important part of his daily routine. Taylor quietly entered the room, trying not to disturb her husband. Calvin watched her sit down in a chair across the room from him.
"It's been raining a lot today.", he said. This was his way of conversing. Short statements that were straight to the point.

"Yes, it has. But I like the rain.", Taylor replied. Calvin looked at her and gave her a half smile.

"Here", he said extending an empty glass towards his wife, "pour me another glass."
Taylor obeyed his command. She filled the glass with more whiskey and handed it back to him. Calvin grabbed it and took a big gulp.

Taylor took a deep breath.

"Would it be alright if I went into town today? I'd like to buy a new dress for church on Sunday.", she asked with a shaky voice.
Calvin looked at her with glassy eyes. Taylor could tell that he wasn't only on his second glass.

"That's fine. But I swear to god you better be back in time to make supper." He moved the glass up to his unshaven face. The knot in Taylor's stomach loosed a little.

"Alright, dear." There was a hint of fake sincerity in her voice. There always was.

Taylor made her way upstairs to get dressed. She brushed her shoulder length, golden hair until it felt like silk. She put on one of her favorite day dresses; a red one with a lace trim around the bottom. Calvin never failed to tell her that she looks like a jezebel when she wears it. Taylor couldn't care less, though. She felt beautiful in it. Sort of like a queen, or a princess. She also had a matching hat, but she felt that it would make her look overdressed if she wore it out just to go to the shops. So, she decided to put a small white flower in her hair, instead. Maybe a floral accessory would brighten up her day a little.

Taylor walked out the front door, trying her best not to be noticed by her husband. She wasn't really in the mood for any snarky comments about her appearance today. The rain had let up a little, but it was still drizzling. Taylor inhaled deeply, letting the sent of the rain fill her lungs. She closed her eyes and tried to imagine being back home in New York. She missed the constant stream of activity on the streets, the chaos of it all. South Carolina was beautiful, but she couldn't help but feel out of place. It was so calm here, the polar opposite of the city she had lived in only a few weeks before.

"Good afternoon, Ma'am!", a loud, deep voice shouted from the run-down barn a few meters away. Benjamin stood in the doorway, smiling and waving. A smile spread across Taylor's face.

"Good afternoon! Lovely weather we're having!", she said sarcastically. Benjamin grinned back at her. "Is there anything I can do for you today, Mrs.Taylor?", he asked.