Kaldur's Pain

The Painful Memory

Kaldur zeta beamed back to the Watchtower. Mera and Shalina ran to embrace their son in relief.

"Kaldur where did you go? Why did you leave? Are you alright?" Shalina and Mera asked simultaneously inworry.  

"I'm fine, I just needed to clear my head." Kaldur explained with a long sigh.

"Kaldur you know that you're not suppose to leave without permission." Aquaman said as he came in the room with a worried look on his face.

"I need space to think. I felt like I was being suffocated." Kaldur explained as he started to walk to his room.

"I only wanted to keep you safe." Aquaman said in a fatherly tone.

"I understand that, truly I do, but I just needed a chance to get some air." Kaldur explained further.

"Kaldur, we want you to try something with you." Canary said as she along with the League came into the room.

Kaldur nodded slowly as he followed behind them. Shalina and Mera along with Arthur follow behind him. The League took Kaldur into a empty room with only 2 chairs. Martian Manhunter was sitting in one chair facing the door, leaving the second chair with the back facing the door.

"Have a sit Kaldur." Manhunter said in a calming tone.

Kaldur obeyed without protest.

"Kaldur, we are going to enter your mind and try to find and identify your captor. Is that alright with you?" Manhunter asked him in his usual calm quiet tone.

"Yes." Kaldur said instantly before anyone could protest.

"Kaldur, you do not have to do this." Arthur said.

"Let me do this." Kaldur said bluntly as he did not turn to face his king.

"Okay. You will be able to talk to us through what is happening, but we will not be able to see what you will see." Manhunter said. "All you have to do is close your eyes and relax. Only you have the power to allow me to see as you do. Remember, these are nothing more than memories. Do you understand?" Manhunter explained.

"Will I be able to get out of the memory?" Kaldur asked. "Yes." Manhunter replied.

Kaldur slowly closed his eyes and allowed himself to be embraced into the memory. He was sent back into the hole, seeing himself chained into the wall. Kaldur almost couldn't recognize himself. His hair was to his shoulders, he looked almost like a skeleton, and several small pools of blood and small pieces of bloody torn flesh were underneath his rough bare feet. Kaldur walked towards himself and saw how badly his gills were slashed. He instinctively touched his gill in the real world, making himself flinch in the chair.

"Kaldur what do you see?" Manhunter asked.

"I still remember being cold." Kaldur mumbled as he looked around the room.

Then he heard the door swing open, his mind instantly froze.

"Kaldur, what happened? You shut me out." Manhunter asked.

He saw a man in black clothing walk into the room. Even though it was purely a memory, Kaldur was still afraid. The light was too bright for Kaldur to get a good look at him.

"I could never see his face. The blinding light was always above me. Even now as I remember this day, I still feel the heat radiating off the lamp." Kaldur explained as his body started to sweat.

He takes off the his jacket as he feels heat beaming on him. Kaldur watched from a distance as the man wearing his army boots came towards his chained body while twirling his army knife in his hand. He held the knife to his gills and slashed his gills. Kaldur screamed as a small piece of bloody flesh slid off the knife. Kaldur was not about to hear himself scream in reality. As Kaldur screamed, torturer makes a small incision on his arm and injected a brown liquid substance in his veins. Kaldur's body instantly started to shake violently as the liquid substance filled his blood stream.

"This is called fear gases. I had it modified so it can be in a liquid form. You have about 15 minutes before your worst nightmare attack you. You can make it stop, all you have to do is repeat after me, 'Please kill me.' That is all I need from you." The man explained.

What Kaldur didn't know was that he was actually saying this in reality. His mothers along with a few other people in the League were in shock and even some were almost in  tears. Manhunter was overcome with Kaldur's emotions. The one emotion he was confused on was acceptance. Before he could even think the question through, Kaldur spoke for him.

"I was okay with death. Day after wretched day it was a war zone and a bloody battle for survival. I never found the courage to ask him to end it all for me. Part of me wanted to live for my loved ones. My fears of making mistakes and my past no longer became fears. I can still, to this day, hear my screams in that hole. I can still feel the cold steel knife cut into my gills. I can still see my blood and torn flesh on the ground. For years I could never find the courage to do what the people of Atlantis try to do to me, kill me. I was tempted to simply end it all. To put an end to all of my pain and suffering, but I was too much of a coward to do it. The faces of my loved ones plagued my mind. Ending my pain would have been a selfish thing to do." Kaldur admitted angrily.

For a split second, he almost sounded regretful. Like not killing himself was a mistake.

Kaldur saw himself shake his head and even scream in pure fear. Kaldur turned his head, not wanting to see the rest of it. It will plagued his dreams tonight, he does not need to see it before he lays his head to rest.  

"Can you stop this now? I can not be of any help in this memory" Kaldur asked timidly.

"Of course." Manhunter said as the room began to fade.

Kaldur came back to the room, in reality. He was very confused on why his jacket was off and he was slightly sweating. He was able to wipe the sweat off this face and was even more confused on why his mothers along with a few League members were in tears.

"Mother, my Queen, are you alright? What happened?" Kaldur asked as he quickly got up and embraced his mother and queen.

He was surprised that his king was not in the room. He let them go and turned to face Canary

"Did I say something wrong?" Kaldur asked worriedly.

The League didn't say a word to him. They did looked at Kaldur in a new perspective of what happened to him. A way of pity.