Bloodbond

Chapter 19

I'd spent the rest of the night sitting on my bed, too nervous to even make an attempt at sleep. I kept playing the conversation I'd had with Gabriel and Taran over and over in my head. Most of the time, I'd kept silent, allowing them to explain exactly what a blood bonding entailed. After a while, my silence was the result of shock. I left them in Gabriel's study, not even bothering to say good bye as I headed up to my own room, where I'd been ever since.

Even though the ceremony had been weighing heavily on my mind ever since I'd learned of it, it never occured to me to consider what I would actually have to do if I agreed to participate. The fear that nearly smothered me now was because I was no longer sure that I could actually perform the bond. I knew I had to, but I was terrified that I'd fail and failing just wasn't an option.

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The soft morning light woke me from my restless dreams. I wasn't sure when I'd actually fallen asleep but, since I found mysef slumped over, I figured that it wasn't planned. I rotated my neck, attempting to relieve the stiffness enough for me to move around without feeling too much pain. It was never a good idea to fall asleep sitting up and my entire body was seriously protesting the abuse.

After massaging my back and neck a bit, I cautiously slid to the edge of the bed and stepped onto the floor. I knew that Madame Lavoie would be arriving this morning and I needed to prepare myself for it. I headed to the bathroom, hoping that a hot shower would help ease the soreness of my muscles. Lack of sleep made me feel weak and jittery and I worried that it might interfere with the bonding.

A tired sigh escaped my lips and I forced myself to push those thoughts aside. I'd accomplish nothing if I persisted in dwelling on it. When I'd finished showering, I got dressed and headed to Gabriel's room. Since it was only seven o'clock, I knew he would still be there.

When I reached his door, I didn't bother knocking. I had neither the energy nor the patience at the moment, so nicities were not my priority. Upon walking in, I zeroed in on Gabriel, who had apparently just finished showering. I stood in the open doorway, staring at the now almost fully exposed male body.

"Well, good morning to you, too," he said teasingly. "While I'm quite flattered that the mere sight of me has stopped you in your tracks, I'd really appreciate it if you could find it in you to close the door." His words and his smug smile shook me from my blatant examination of his body and I quickly shut the door behind me.

"I don't know what you're talking about so you can wipe that self-satisfied smile off your face," I tried to dismiss his teasing accusation. My face was flaming and the embarrassment was hard to push past. Seriously regretted not knocking now. Although, I have to admit, the sight of Gabriel naked with just a towel resting low on his hips was...well, nice, to say the least. While I knew that he was very well formed, I'd never actually seen what lie beneath his clothing. If my imobility when I walked in didn't clue you in, then I don't know what would.

The muscles of his chest and stomach were clearly defined and reminded me of those perfect abs girls always admired. His whole body looked natural, as if he worked hard every day for those muscles, and I was pretty sure he did. I swallowed hard as I felt my skin heat. I wanted so much to walk over there and run my hands over his exposed flesh. Everything with Gabriel still felt so new and...unstable, but I missed the intimiacy that came from being with someone you loved. The sensations you got when your bare skin touched theirs.

I wanted Gabriel so badly in that moment that I refused to move an inch, too afraid that, if I did, I'd give in and attack him. Ugh, why didn't I freaking knock?

I forced my gaze to skip across the rest of the room in an attempt to distract myself and allow Gabriel to cover up. I was uncomfortable and I'm pretty sure he could tell. As I was doing this, I sensed him slowly make his way over to me. Every pore of my body was heightened at the moment so, even though he never made a sound, it's no wonder I could feel him coming closer.