Lily's POV
"No!" Pan yells, panic in his voice. Cullen is the only thing stopping me from falling in.
"You would never throw me in," I tell Cullen. His grip loosens and a wash of ice moves along my spine. "Don't tell me what I would or wouldn't do," he says, his voice sharp. "You have no idea what I'm capable of when it comes to revenge. I will gladly sacrifice you in order to get what I want." My teeth snap together and I grow silent and frustrated.
"That time has come Pan," Cullen says. "What's more important? "Your dark shadow? Or Tiger Lily?"
Pan steps forward as if to stop him somehow but that only causes Cullen to hang me over the edge further. I realize I still have the other box containing Pan's shadow in my grasp.
"But before you decide I think it's only right we let Lily choose first." His words make Pan's eyes go black with rage.
Cullen leans into me rubbing his cheek against mine. "I would be remised if I didn't give you the option sweetness," he purrs in my ear. "This is your final chance to go home. To be free. But I must warn you. Once you go through there is no coming back to Neverland."
Wait what?
"That's right. Let that sink in. What's worse? Never returning home. Or never returning here?"
The thought of never returning is unbearable but can I say goodbye to my former life? Never to see any loved ones again? I was beginning to finally move on back home until I was thrust back here. I had plans. Dreams. Ambition. I never entertained a future in Neverland with the time that passed. But now... I don't know. It's an impossible decision to make so flippantly.
"Do you trust Pan with your life? With your light? Do you feel safe enough in his presence to descend into darkness?" Cullen whispers in my ear. I look to Pan's eyes with tears in mine. I'm connected to him in a way that defies logic. It's primal and terrifying, and I should escape now before I'll never be able to escape him again—but I'm caught in the entrancing lure of his eyes. He's holding back tears afraid of what I'll do.
Cullen slowly places his hands over mine that's holding the box with Pan's dark shadow. There's still a looming darkness there, but it no longer feels like his darkness. It feels like a darkness that haunts him—the same darkness that seems to haunt this forest. It's not some enchantment, though everything about him feels like black magic. The darkness dancing in his blue green eyes catches me and refuses to let go. It was never darkness that drew me to him. It was just him. Not this shadow. He thinks this shadow will save him but if that darkness comes out, it may never be put back again. Cullen release the pressure on my hands and in doing so I let my hands go slack and let the box slip through my fingers and tumble down into the portal. Pan is in shock. Anger in his gaze but he says nothing. He is still unsure of what I will do. And so am I.
Cullen's POV
I twist my dear Tiger Lily into my arms so that she now faces me. It's clear her feelings for Pan. It's etched all over her face. But no matter what muted color she tries to paint our connection, our canvas is splashed in bloody red, and her soul is every bit as dark as mine.
"So will you stay or will you go?" I ask "And what about how you feel for me, sweetness?" I ask, noting the acceleration of her pulse against my fingers. "Can you logic that away, too?" Her breathing shallows.
"I can't," she admits. I'm very aware Pan can hear every word. "But it's not an area I'll be exploring further."
Her words sting.
"Then what about my feelings? What I've sacrificed?" I demand.
"I think you're sick, Cullen," she says, her gaze bleeding into mine. "But I think I might be sick, too. Neverland has made us all sick... I hope you'll take what Pan can offer and live your life."
I am sick for damn sure. But the only one who can remedy this sickness is pulling away from me.
"You need to believe the lies, just so you can convince yourself that you didn't love every second of kissing me. The villain. Of caring for someone else who isn't Pan. For falling for a man who you can never fully trust... That is the real danger."
Her eyes shine with compassion for me. She cares so deeply. For me. For Pan. But will she choose herself is the question.
"So what's it going to be then?"
Lily's POV
"So what's it going to be then?"
I thought Cullen was asking for my decision but he's looking directly at Pan. Cullen is giving Peter a look I do not recognize. I glace back at Peter and it feels as if they are confirming something secret with each other that I can't put my finger on.
Pan then says, "I want Lily to stay but the decision is hers. If she chooses to stay I'll honor the pact we once made long ago."
The decision is presented like it's mine but I know better. Pan knows I could never leave him and he knows my need to have peace with Cullen. If I leave that Pact is broken and violence will ensue all over again. Both Pan and Cullen understand this. They know how to twist and manipulate to make me question the fabric of my reality. How can I trust the devil who takes advantage of me at every opportunity with an evil glint in his beautiful, deceptive eyes and lethal smile. His whole persona pulls you in, disarms you, until you realize too late you're tangled in his web. The question of will I go home or forever belong to Neverland. It hangs in the air around us all. I realize what I'm about to do will answer that terrifying question: Knowing the truth about Pan will not change how I feel. I'm giving in to his way of thinking, which is terrifying all on its own. The fight to deny how he makes me feel, the inexplicable connection we share, has been bled from my veins.
"I choose to stay."
