The Unexpected Tragedy. | Miguel O'Hara x Reader | Angst

The day the news arrived

Miguel had always wanted to be a father. He was looking forward to the arrival of his daughter on what should have been one of the happiest days of his life. Little did he know that he was in for tragic news.

"I’m terribly sorry, Mr. O'Hara." Dr. Elena told Miguel, her voice heavy with sadness. "The baby you were expecting was stillborn. We have also discovered..." The doctor hesitated as she addressed you solemnly. "Y/N is unable to bear children."

Miguel was utterly devastated.

I was lying on the hospital bed while he was in the waiting room. Hours of pain for nothing. I had just found out too, and I had tears in my eyes. I was still in severe pain.

The hospital room was quiet. Only the machines beeping. Nobody was in the hospital room right now. I was still trying to process all the devastating news I was told.

The silence was so loud..

Me and Miguel had been trying for years to start a family. We had both dreamt of the day they would welcome their child, a product of our love, into our lives. The years of trying and the months of preparation and anticipation had built up an emotional wall of yearning and joy that, when hit by this catastrophic news, shattered into a thousand pieces.

I felt as though my life was being ripped apart. I was in severe emotional pain as well. How would I ever recover from this loss? How would we?

It felt like my heart shattered in pieces. Tears fell down my face as I lay there in sorrow. I was in disbelief. I didn't want to think this is real, but it is..

The thought of losing our daughter replays in my head. I blame myself for it. I blame myself because I think I've done something wrong and I killed her by accident..

I can't believe it.. years of trying for it all to be crushed in under a second. All of that waiting to just find this out..

I think to myself, but I mumble it without me even noticing. "She's gone.. she's gone, and it's my fault.. why do I always mess things up..?"

Nobody was in the room with me, so thankfully, nobody heard me say this.

I thought back to the pregnancy and remembered the small movements of their child inside, the feeling of her growing with each day. As my stomach would expand, I would imagine the tiny hands and the toes stretching out before becoming a real little body outside me.

I imagined the feeling of holding our child in my arms, the first time we looked at each other, and the endless adventures we would have.

All thoughts and dreams shattered in one moment.

My mental health was already not that great from these past couple of months. There have already been 3 deaths of people I know and was close with during those couple months, and this just made it worse.

I remember 3 months ago, I searched what could cause a stillborn or a miscarriage so I know how to avoid it and make sure I was doing things right.

I remember seeing that certain mental disorders increase the chances of having a miscarriage or stillborn and all the listed mental disorders that can increase the chance I had them.

There were only three. They were anxiety, Depression, and eating disorders. And I had all of them. I keep blaming myself for it in my head for this reason. I didn't want this to be true..

I felt like giving up.

My self-doubt was creeping in. I wondered if the pregnancy complications were influenced by my mental health history and blamed myself as a result of it.

I was also trying to cope with the three recent losses I had experienced over the past few months that were very close to me. In the midst of this, I also have to face the fact that I'm unable to bear children. I feel like all hope has been squandered out of my life.

I was overjoyed to actually meet my daughter, but that feeling had to be replaced with this sorrowful feeling.

I just lay there, still taking in this information. Nobody there to comfort me. Nobody was there to help me because the doctors weren't allowing anyone to come in my room right now.

I wanted this to all go away. I wanted to shut myself away for years away from people. All this weight on me was making it hard to continue living. This feeling of guilt and sorrow overwhelming me.

I wanted this to be all one nightmare, but it wasn't.. I was on the verge of giving up..

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