The Unexpected Tragedy. | Miguel O'Hara x Reader | Angst

The Broken Promise

I was drowning in a pool of despair. I felt completely alone and hopeless in my hospital bed while also dealing with my own thoughts about blaming myself and wondering what I could have done differently.

Miguel, who was the one person that I could rely on and trust at this moment, was not present in my room. The weight of the situation was becoming too much to bear, and I felt like giving up because I couldn't handle the pain anymore.

This was the worst my mental health has ever gotten. This silence was so loud in the hospital room.

I had ivs in my arms, wires connected to me to keep an eye on my oxygen, BP, and heart rate.

I felt hopeless. I wished Miguel was with me right now, but he wasn't. This was too much to take in for me.

Miguel knew how bad my mental health was before this, and he was afraid I would do something with I was left alone in my hospital room because of this.

My mental health was being stretched to the limit. The fact that Miguel was not with me in my hospital room was only causing me more distress. Miguel knew how difficult the situation was for me and had promised to be by my side.

I was already struggling with feelings of self-blame, the news of my infertility, and the grief from my recent losses and not having Miguel there was making it hard for me to cope.

I turn to lay down on my side and sob. I try to stop crying, but I just can't. I don't know what's wrong with me.

I shouldn't really stay.. the feeling of giving up stronger than ever now..

All this loss and the inability to bring in a life to the world was taking its toll on me, and I began to question my will to live. I blamed myself and wondered if this was my doing.

I was feeling the effects of my mental illnesses and had no one there to support me and lift me up in my darkest hour. Thoughts of suicide were starting to creep in, and I felt like I had reached the end of the road.

I already had thanatophobia, which is the fear of losing someone I love. And I had autophobia, which is the fear of being left alone. Those both made my anxiety get worse than it already is.

My heart rate increased rapidly from it. It was hard to breathe.

Having nobody in the room was not helping my autophobia and losing my own child was not helping my thanatophobia.

The more I thought about all this tragedy I was facing, the more my anxiety and stress levels rose.

My phobias of losing someone I love and being left alone were now making my physical health worse, and I was feeling overwhelmed. I desperately needed someone to help comfort me, but the loneliness of her hospital room was making it worse, and I was reaching my breaking point.

I just lay there, struggling to breathe, can't see straight anymore, and my heart racing. I was so close to ending it all right here, right now.

This feels like a curse that was put on me. I really wanted Miguel with me right now.

I start to question if this will affect my relationship with Miguel in some way. I was scared for it to affect the relationship that we've built for 10 years..

I could not bear the thoughts of having Miguel leave me after all this, and I was questioning if he would. I had never felt so low in my life, and I had no idea how I would be able to overcome this adversity and how Miguel and my relationship would be impacted as a result of it. It was as if my world was falling apart around me, and no matter what I would do, it felt like it was too late for anything to get better.

It has been one hour since I got told the devastating news.

I was still in bed, and I was still crying. My mental health kept declining as I stayed there in sorrow.

My mental and emotional health had taken a major toll in the past hour since I had received the news. I was in a deep state of sorrow and pain, and my heart broke when she thought about the effect my news had on Miguel.

I was worried that our relationship might be affected, and I feared Miguel leaving me in the middle of all this, my greatest fear being realized. I was completely and utterly broken by the news, and all my phobias and mental illnesses were flaring up to new limits.

It was almost an hour and a half now since the news.

I heard the door open..