intertwined threads

I met her when I was studying abroad in Spain for one semester as a part of a student exchange program. Meeting a different culture, experiencing the "real thing". And I did in some sense. I met a girl that I made an instant connection with. We went everywhere together, she showed me her city and everything worth seeing. Though I can't say that I did very well with my studies at first, both of us were too focused on our little ventures to acknowledge anything else. Now, you know that really old song that sometimes is still played on the radio? The one about a girl that just couldn't stay in place? Yes, a song perfect for someone that always ran away from everything.

The thing I found most intriguing about her was how she dealt with her relationships. A different guy every week, men growling at her feet. But she seemed oblivious to the fact of how much those men wanted her. In fact, she was the one who always ran away. She had fun with them, that was true, but she also fled as soon as she came into their lives. Left them all without a second thought, but with me, she always stayed and made time. As if I was her sole priority in this world.

I was a shy creature back then. Attracting attention from men, but being more focused on my studies. I had way too much to lose if I failed my classes. I was the first one at home to go to college, and this visit abroad was beyond any of my dreams. My family was always struggling with money, so I had to fight hard for my place among the other students. Each day was a strain to make my grades even better.

Eventually, I got a scholarship and ended up here, in Spain. The place where I met her. Sophia. Yet, I always called her Sue, my 'Runaround Sue'. She was wild, beautiful and so smart. Even if she usually hid the last quality. She preferred to play the silly little girl, that was constantly on fire. Maybe that's why men were so crazy about her; the contradiction. Both sugar and spice, but without all the niceness. Well, for them anyway. I couldn't have loved her more, my best friend that was my world and I was hers.

Every time we met, all of those obsessed men were put aside as if they never existed. I remember when I finally got back home after being abroad for so long. Without any warning, I met a guy, fell madly in love with him, and spent most of my time with him. We were crazy about each other. But that was also the time when Sophia transferred to Oxford University. It was my senior year and she just showed up out of the blue. Instantly my guy vanished from the face of the earth, all of my attention on her. We were inseparable. Funny, after all these years I still remember his expression every time I mentioned Sue. The word sour exemplified it perfectly as if he devoured a whole bowl of old lemons. Well, I smile now, but back then the situation escalated into endless arguments and shouting. Eventually, I just let him go and didn't even miss him. And Sue, well she didn't change, countless men gravitating around here, yet she never seemed to care all that much.

But nothing lasts forever.

After three months she fell for an English professor. Let him romance her away which ended up in a huge scandal when his wife found out. It got ugly really fast. But that didn't crush her, she just put her tail between her legs and fled. No worries, she landed on her feet like she always did - ended up flying to Las Vegas and staying there for nearly a year with her new worshiper. Time passed; I met someone new, always missing Sophia but being happy for her.

When we were in our mid-twenties, she settled herself back in England for longer and there were more visits. To this day I can't really explain the relationship between me and her. Each of us falling for new guys and getting on with our lives. However, every time when she came around, my world stopped spinning and moved toward her gravity, and she drifted toward mine without thinking. All of our love interests put aside on the shelf. We just couldn't stay away from each other, a thing that never changed. No matter how far apart we were, or where life took us. Like crazy magnets that didn't know better but to collide against their paths.

Boyfriends, fiancés, life partners, they just dissolved into the background. On most days it didn't affect the world around us too much. When Sue would visit, she would stay a few days, two weeks tops. So even if we acted like irrational teenage girls thinking just with their hormones; we made it work without that many consequences. Or maybe we just pretended that it didn't. Maybe we didn't care, all the rational thoughts being long gone. We never found words for what we had together but we put the phraseology aside. Forgetting about anyone and anything.

But eventually, a lot more things were put to the side. Our time together turning more intimate. We didn't plan anything but eventually, things just developed and expanded. As they say, one thing led to another. We spent a night together, then another, and we stayed like that for a long time. There was no awkwardness between us or unsaid words.

There was no guilt. Even if we were with someone at the time, even if our daily life was already settled; all of that usually disappeared when she visited. We let the magnets pull us close, neither us fighting it. As if reality didn't have a hold on us. One night when we were in bed, she told me about Tom, her fiancé. I laid there and listened to her words, as she said all those wonderful things about him - when she would smile the warmest of smiles. I nodded my head while stroking her skin and staring at her curves in the faded light of the lamp. I was happy for her, and never jealous of her relationships like she wasn't of mine. I remember when she told me about how they met, and the way she made pauses to kiss my body. My eyes slightly closed, enjoying both her words and her touch. I laid my head on her stomach and let my eyelids fall completely, her soft voice rocking me to sleep. She woke me up in the morning with soft whispers in my ears. We spent the last hours close, slowly making love, without no rush.

Two days later, my Runaround Sue, left for the airport, and a few months later she was married. I was at the wedding with Henry, the guy I met sometime before I heard about Tom. I watched her say her vows and smiled with joy. I never lied, I was pleased for her. More than I could say. Our love, both pure and selfish. We always rooted for each other's happiness. We just never told anybody about the happiness and joy that was just ours. As if what we had was meant to always remain indescribable, unnamed. Because it was somewhere outside the frame. Always on the edge of a different realm that only we had access to. And once in a while, she still visits for a day or two, and then the real world disappears, even if just for a moment.

Somehow, even after all this time, we still collided. 

Without a second thought, effortlessly shifting back into place, into a gravity that neither of us could explain.