𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐄 | s. rintarou

⤏ Prologue.

࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

Insecure.

A word that describes and defines many people.

It's a word that describes you.

You were a self conscious girl who nitpicked at every little thing that you didn't like about you self.

Your hair.

Your eyes.

Your nose.

Your entire body for that matter.

But why?

Why we're you like that?

Well for starters, your home life wasn't the best.

At the age of 4, your dad left leaving your mom devastated.

She wasn't the same after that.

She became distant and wasn't really a mother figure to you. And when you pointed it out to her, she become aggressive with her words.

And ever since then you would dread going home knowing that your mother would be waiting for you to tell you how much of a disappointment you were and how you didn't meet any of the beauty standards.

You hated her.

You had at least hoped that people outside of your home life were nice and caring, but they definitely weren't.

When you started elementary school you were a quiet kid and didn't make many friends. And when you got to middle school people started to notice and picked on you for it.

At first, it was little comments like 'why are you so quiet' or 'why don't you talk to anyone?'. But some of the girls in your class thought you were trying to be an 'attention whore'.

So they started picking on your looks, certain things you would do, or how you would even eat your lunch.

You were already a sensitive person due to your mothers treatment towards you. So these girls who would make comments about you and bully you to know end just made it worse.

So one night you thought to yourself,

'If it's ok for those girls to treat me like that then it's obviously ok for me to treat everyone like that to, right?'

Wrong.

After middle school you transferred to Inarizaki high. You considered this your 'fresh start' and you would try out your new idea of pretty much treating people like shit.

And it just some how stuck with you.

You didn't particularly make any friends. Sure you would have some girls talk to you. But they would mainly be shit talking on other girls looks or grades.

You asked yourself everyday,

'Is it really ok for me to be doing this?'

You knew deep down that it wasn't.

But you actually had people coming and talking to you and craved that attention so much.

This new persona of yours got so bad, that you would even make girls cry because of how mean your were.

You just considered them to be big babies and that they were sensitive. But you never really considered how they truly felt.

You thought that if people were allowed to treat you that way, then you could treat them that way to.

But everyday when you would walk home from school in silence, thoughts would start running through your head.

'Why am I like this?'

'Why am I not good enough?'

'Why am I not pretty enough?'

'Why can't I be like the other girls in my class?'

'What the fuck is wrong with me?'

These thoughts would course through your mind all the time.

You always asked yourself why you would think these things about yourself but you never found an answer.

But when would you realize,

That you were just insecure?

࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

A/n : hi hi 😛 um this is kind of boring but I wanted to give some background on y/n's life so it would make sense why she acts the way she does so yeah 💁‍♀️

Planning on making the next chapter longer tho and hopefully I can publish it today 🙏

Anyways, bye 🧍‍♀️