Masked Hearts

1

Six months ago
My life wasn't amazing, but it was mine and i was happy. My parents tried their best to get me, my two brothers and my sister by and they did a pretty good job at it. We had food and somewhere to sleep and when that's all you know to want, it's all you need.
Of course, that also meant they had to take away time to teach us to survive and that's where they fell short, as they weren't sure themselves. They were runners, not fighters. I spent the first six months of my life learning that. My mom always seemed to be in trouble somewhere, with someone, and when they came after her, instead of trying to settle it, we ran, skipped town and found somewhere else to live. It went on like that for a while.
    I guess I understand now why she didn't try to reason with them. We are all running from something deep down. Somethings you have to run from to keep the others around you safe but you can't outrun everything. I never found out what it was my mom had been hiding, i was too young and childish to care. That is, until death came knocking at our door.
    I smelled the blood before i saw it. We had settled in a little box and kept close to it. I guess that was my families downfall. I walked home thinking there was going to be a particularly bloody rat and a happy family awaiting my arrival. Spoiler alert, there wasn't either. Instead i found my dad, his eyes glazed over and blood seeping through a wound out his neck. I screamed. My mom was the same, but she was still breathing, her breath ragged, she told me everyone was gone and there was nothing else she could do.
    I'll never forget her last words to me, she looked me dead in the eye and told me, "Train. Train hard so you can have a fighting chance in this world and sweet child, run and get far far from here" And i did, i ran and ran and ran. I didn't know anything else, it was all i knew to do, but even if i had known anything else i think i still would have run.
    Then i sobbed, i cried for hours till i'd never cry over it again. A lie.
    When i was scared and alone i promised myself i'd never have to feel that kind of fear again. It had probably been another lie, but it got me through the nights until it was true.
    When i had arrived in one of the biggest cities i had ever seen thats when my world changed. I was done running.
    There are no rules in this world, no right and wrong. Once i settled in the city i began to train. I caused trouble and got into fights, it was how i learned. It was stupid, really, looking back on it but it got me to where I am today.
    I studied from the shadows, i learned how different cats walked and talked, stalking them, like prey. It was exhilarating. I knew my way around the city and it's inhabitants like the back of my paw before long. That's when he came, he found me, wearing a black bandanna over his eyes and mouth, his fur a deep chocolate. He told me to come work for him as a spy. I didn't know at the time in his eyes a spy was a trained and selected killer to do his dirty work. I went with him knowing it was my only shot.
    When he brought me to his training grounds there was thirty other cats. "You will each train until only ten of you remains, those ten will be my team of assassins and together we will rule this city!" He called. His voice carried across the clearing and we all yowled a cheer. He told us to refer to him as Rodger.
    That night i made myself my own list of rules. I'd never be scared again, i'd never run again, never trust any cat, don't let them see they get to you, don't let them get to you.
    They worked well enough. Training consisted of drills and fights. Most of the toms stuck together, there was more of them, about 23 of them. They picked on all of us she-cats but i was determined to outlast every one of them. Rodger wasn't a cold blooded killer, he thought it was tacky and that's why he had assassins. He also thought needless bloodshed was worthless unless he got something from it, so those who weren't worthy of his team were let go to continue on their lives.
    I fought and it got me to the final ten. Three she-cats and seven toms. A she-cat named Fern became my only friend in this world. We were far from trusting of each other but if it was my life or hers, i'd choose hers. She didn't exactly have it worse then me but she didn't have it better either. She was abandoned by her family and mate, her kits all passing with the cold. She was a few months older than me but we were in the same boat. Our hearts hardened against the world.
    While Rodger thought cold blooded killers were tacky that's exactly what he trained us to be, so it's what we became. We disassociated with our victims, thought them no more than prey or another face on the never ending list. It certainly wasn't easy for me or even the others. The first life i took was so horrifying i thought i was going to puke right then. I'm not saying it gets easier and I hate to admit it but its gotten to a point where i stopped keeping count and i've forgotten their faces. I don't know how many victims i've claimed in the dead of night. I became Rodgers favorite toy.
    If i could go back and choose another path i wouldn't tho. This may be evil work but it's mine and every life i take is like justice for a family who will never get it. I know my fate, i'll go to the Darkforest where all evil cats rest for the eternity after death. There's no changing that.
    Rodger gives me cats that he says are more evil than his own. The cats who go and kill families for whatever twisted reason they come up with. No one knows my face because by the time they see it it's too late. The assassin team is widely known but no one knows who is on it. The twenty cats who started on the team don't tell because they enjoy the benefits of being in the loop. They work for Rodger and their lives are good. Plus they know what will happen, we keep close tabs on every cat in the city. The twenty are the ones keeping the tabs, like spies, the thing Rodger had promised me, maybe he thought i wouldn't make it to the final ten which is a little disheartening unless you care and i certainly don't.
    Ive proved myself and if i don't look like a killer, good that, they'll never see it coming.
    The goal for the city is, feel safe we have cats watching you back, looking for injustice to correct, but fear everyone because you are next if you're the injustice.
    It certainly seems true.