Prelude. Mother And Daughter Skipped Hand In Hand.

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Prelude

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Prelude. The Day The Music Died , I Frowned And Never Recovered.








You were the sun. Full of light and love, adoration was your second priority. I was your first, [ always. ]

I never knew my father, I never needed too when I had you. My rock, my world, and most importantly my best friend. Never worry mother is here, she is my biggest protector. Taken for granted, I cherished you ... but even as you lie peacefully in the earthy grounds, I never realized how little I appreciated our time together.

I am young. Youthful and lively; marvelous and daring. I watch my mother; bright and radiating, in the kitchen. She sings softly, whispering along to the wondrous flow of the song. The small curved window above the polished sink, showcased the snowfall, gracious and serene. The vibrant green grass, the cobblestone stone fence of the street gradually disappeared into a white glistening blanket of cold and diamond eyes.

Christmas time was upon the small family of two, it was their favorite. You smiled at me, with that fond look; motherly smile. Asking what I was doing. "Watching the snow fall," I remember replying, but I wasn't. I was admiring her, eyes capturing her every move. I wanted to assist her, be the best helper I could be. Sadly, I wasn't the safest in the kitchen, past times have taught me that. I burnt the bread baked from scratch, over seasoned the boiling hot tomato soup.

I wasn't good at what my mother could do so effortlessly. She was great at many things; cooking just happened to be one of them. I loved her so much. She has the best smile, sweetest voice; one that could put me to sleep in the dreamiest of ways. The chirping birds above fluttered around her head, tweeting a melody of emotion.

I idolized my mum. She was my hero ... the only person I would ever need. At school, academics were my strong suit. Top of my class I was. She was so proud of me. [ I wonder if she still is? ] I did everything right, by the book I become my own competition.

Mum always said, that as long as I love myself I will always have a friend. A friend within myself. I knew that, I respected that. But I pushed the advice to the back of my mind, shrugging to my reflection: my mum was my best friend, I will always have her. There's no need to be my own best friend. [ Always. ]


Cherish those memories. I sit in the room alone, a secluded corner all to myself. My arms crossed over my chest, I stare outside the window. Down at the snowy ground, tiny specks of bodies playing; joyful and enjoyable. I blink slow and controlled, my gaze unfocused on the reality of the world. My mind plagued with that day.


"Is the snowfall interesting, my love?" Yes. But not as much as you mum. What was she making? I smelled fresh thyme, baked bread, and blueberries. Interesting indeed. She turned suddenly and smiled wholeheartedly, wiping her hands over her Christmas apron. [ Let It Snow, Let It Snow Let It snow! ] That's what the bright red cloth read, false snow dripping from the top.

You smiled, "why don't you go pick out a Christmas film for tonight?" I perk up at the mention. Holiday movies were my favorite and you knew that. I grin, my two front teeth crooked in row of pearly white gleams. Imperfect but still your favorite. Racing into the living room of the small cottage, the decorations of red and green welcomed me in a warm hug. The candles overwhelmed us with joy; notes of vanilla, gingerbread and blueberry muffins.

A tear falls from my left eye, I don't realize. I do not care to think, my heart taking over my being. My emotions of grief, destroyed the happiness this season once brought me ... once brought us. My stomach pained, launched for a better tomorrow that was to far from my reach now. The sound of laughter swarmed my senses, until my head rang with the uncontrollable alarm of dejected understanding.

I was alone, by my own choice this time. Pushed away by society or better yet, I removed myself from so. I didn't deserve the world as you once told me I did. Nauseated by who I was in contrast of you. My mother raised me to live and to not dwell. To smile to the fullest and gaze at the stars; for I must make a wish to come true.

A young girl would once wish for a bright future. One full of friends and love. She wanted to find someone who complimented her, in a way her mother couldn't. A Prince Charming, as in the Disney movies. She wanted the touch of security, the smile of true love and the laughter of pure happiness. A boy to give her all she's ever craved; adventure and intimacy. A blush and girlish giggle arose from her throat, a boy with an illuminating smile and hypnotizing eyes. Humor above all because laughter was her best weapon.


You are gone. My beloved mother. I am lost without you. Resting here, on this cushioned bench, glimpsing down below at the carefree souls. My heart aches. My lip trembles, this was us. Snow angels made us giggle, the cold froze our rosy cheeks in a smile. Our fingertips were numb from the countless hours. Hot chocolate was our best friend those days. Plaid blankets thrown over our feet, laying in on the plump couch. Cuddled up as we watched Rudolph. Our favorite.

Traditions we had were now distant memories. My mother was in the sky, keeping the angels company. I was stuck, in an unwanted nightmare. One I would never wake. I thrashed. I screamed. But I was underwater ... therefore I wasn't saved. My Prince Charming would not save me tonight nor ever. Solitude was my only option, I found myself falling into its depths. I didn't like it, but it was my destiny.

I didn't deserve good. No more Christmas days. No more smiles. No happiness. I deserved to rot in my own version of hell because I let you slip through my fingers. I didn't appreciate you enough so this was my punishment ... and I had to live with that.

I can not rest for I have dug my own grave of insanity. You are at peace and I am agonizing to be taken away from this live. I wanted you here, that night as I stared at the midnight sky with a blank canvas, I wrote my wish; the same wish I would have for eternity, one that would never come true.

But that was the things about wishes ... they were just mindless gestures to voice our innermost thoughts. We wanted ludicrous things. A lie to wish upon a shooting star anises the hearts of little children, for the adults knew the reality of the harsh world would crush them in a heartbeat.

Wishes were symbolic tokens of life, foolish and naive. Meant to be broken. Meant to be lost forever, gone to the whispers of the wind.























Aurthors Note!

Little introduction that I wanted to add. I sort of just rambled on and came up with this. I think it's alright, showing a preview of Indie's thoughts before we dive in ( not really cause I wrote this after several chapters :/ )

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