DEAR GOD (Healing from Depression and Anxiety)

Dear God (Into the real life)

Philippians 4:6-7 " Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

A day of joy has arrived. I had successfully graduated from college, although the journey through education had been irritating, except for the friends and colleagues I had gained. Notably, the Bachelor's Degree in information technology I pursued needed to align with my true aspirations. Financial constraints thwarted my pursuit of my dream degree in journalism, forcing me to opt for IT instead. Breaking free from the shackles of that challenging subject, which had altered my brain chemistry in all the wrong ways, felt like a breath of fresh air.

It marked the initiation of a new chapter in my life. The realm of reality lay before me, offering an opportunity to earn and provide for my family. Though I initially believed it to be uncomplicated, truth swiftly debunked that notion. The intricacies of job hunting unveiled themselves. Countless rejections punctuated my efforts, with some companies demanding experience in the field—a paradox, considering that a person can't gain any experience without an initial chance.

Three months elapsed, and I remained jobless. Overhearing my aunt's disparaging remarks added salt to the wound. She criticized my lack of employment post-college, asserting I lacked a plan. Unbeknownst to her, my relentless pursuit of a job had left me sleepless, beseeching God for a sign of His timing.

In the midst of this, my battle with depression began to resurface. Self-doubt took root, eroding my confidence. Even my own family confronted me, and I felt forsaken by the heavens. Prayer was my solace, yet it seemed my pleas went unheard. Tears soaked my pillow each night, anxiety robbing me of sleep and inner peace.

Recalling my high school diary-writing habit, I retrieved a notebook and pen. Still, this time, it was no mere diary. I addressed a letter to God.

Dear God,

Today, my mind is in turmoil. The weight of my family's expectations and my struggles is overwhelming. Unemployment gnaws at me, compounded by external pressure. The burdens of being the eldest weigh heavily; They expect me to be a source of pride. My family's lofty hopes have turned to disappointment, and I am sinking into depression. Please, I implore you, guide me. I long to support my family; please grant me a job.

Tears flowed as I penned my thoughts. Following this cathartic release, I sought solace in inspirational videos. Among them, a video by Brother Ellie Soriano addressing depression resonated deeply. One verse from Philippians 4:6-7 lingered in my mind: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

Then a few days passed, and a glimmer of hope emerged as my cousin reached out. She offered to assist me in my job search. I spent days at her place, tirelessly pursuing opportunities. Although I secured positions in corporate settings, they were short-lived due to toxic work environments. However, my cousin's unwavering support led her to inquire about job openings at her former workplace, ultimately resulting in a referral.

With joy, my cousin shared the news, and I prayed that this could be the breakthrough I sought. I attended the interview at her former company, meeting their required criteria. Joy surged through me as they offered the job, and at long last, I had attained what I had so tirelessly striven for.

In the quiet chambers of the heart, God hears the whispers of our prayers, even before they find voice upon our lips.