Exile (Conrad Fisher)

Chapter 1

Ever since my mom died, my family has relied on me to be the rock. Their never-ending sunshine, the person who always has their shit together, so I did. I never cried, never shut down, never processed anything that could even remotely cause me to falter from my duties. I wish I was as strong as they all believe I am.

Last week I snapped. It wasn't major, I didn't hurt anyone or break anything, I didn't even cry. I simply decided I couldn't do it anymore and called the one person I knew would help me, who's always helped me: Laurel Park.

She answered after the first ring, just as I suspected she would and immediately got down to business. It's like she knew something was wrong. She did know something was wrong. I never called her unless I needed help. That was another tragedy that Dallas Campbell's death resulted in, the isolation from Cousins.

I never wanted it to be this way. Neither did Susannah and Laurel, who had been best friends with my mom since kindergarten. My father insisted it be this way, he told me that without mom there was no reason for my brothers and I to return to the Cousins house. I had no choice but to listen. I was never one to argue with Alexander, that was my older brother Andrew's job. So we stayed away and cut ties completely.

Laurel's first demand was that my twin brother Declan and I drive down to Cousins effective immediately, and even my father knew that Lauren was not one to argue with. Her second demand was that once Declan and I arrived in Cousins we would stay for the entirety of the summer. Her list of demands only went on from there. So the next thing I knew, Declan and I were packing our bags and driving down to the beach house.

When we arrived the front door immediately flew open, three tall and mostly muscular boys running out. The boys were then followed by a reluctant Belly, an eager Susannah, and a very regal Laurel.

The second I exited the car I was scooped up as if I weighed nothing, Steven's arms tightening around me as he spins us both in a circle. I expected this kind of enthusiasm from him. After all he was Steven Conklin, my personal eternal ray of sunshine.

Steven knew, he always knew. It's like as long as I was forced to shine for everyone else, he would shine just for me. Never failing to make me laugh, always reminding me that it's okay to feel the sadness and anger I usually repress. With Steven everything is just.... raw, unfiltered. The perfect best friend.

Then there was Jeremiah. My relationship with the youngest Fisher brother has always been rocky and unpredictable. We used to be close. Steven, Jeremiah and I were inseparable as children. The perfect trio. But then as we got older, Jeremiah started to change. He would blame me for things that were out of my control and ridicule me for always spending time with the boys. He told me I didn't belong with them, that I belonged with Belly and the moms. He hated me, and I never understood why. He still hates me now, he has made that very clear. However, now Jeremiah hates me for a different reason. He hates me for cutting ties with them after my mom's passing. I don't know if Jeremiah and I will ever be friends again. I hope that changes.

Finally, we have Conrad. I used to think he was a god. Perfect, godly, extremely attractive, Conrad Fisher. My first love. It was an unrequited love, but it was my first love nonetheless. I fell so hard for Conrad Fisher that it felt as if I broke three ribs, dislocated my shoulder and cracked open my skull. I wish I could say he broke my heart. That I hate him. But neither of those things would be true. Conrad has been nothing but kind, which is why I am still to this day in love with him.

Seeing the boys again was like a breath of fresh air, or a sudden cool breeze on the hottest day of August. Say what you want, but August is so clearly the hottest month of the year, July is child's play. I felt like I was home, like I could finally heal the open wound that has been in my heart for the past two years.

When Steven finally put me down, another pair of arms wrapped around me. This was a perfume I would recognize anywhere. Susannah's hugs were legendary, I wouldn't be surprised if they could cure diseases. She held me tightly, as if she was afraid I would disappear before her eyes. I didn't understand the depth of just how much I missed Susannah Fisher until she was squeezing the life out of me.

"Okay Beck, let Laney breathe"

Susannah released me, stepping out of the way so Laurel could get a good look. She gave me a onceover, the same way a concerned mother would look over her child after they've been away for too long. Almost as if she wanted to confirm my well-being. Susannah was a light, a special kind of angel that I don't dare to label. But Laurel? Laurel was motherly. When my mom was visiting Boston and being free-spirited with Susannah, Laurel was helping me with my homework and ensuring Declan and I ate dinner. She was my rock, and her son was my light.

I didn't know what to say. So I just stared. And stared. Everyone goes quiet. Suddenly there was just Laurel and I staring at each other, and a group of the nosiest people I know.