Random Barnaby Oneshots (A Wattpad Fanfiction)

Barnaby transformation

Trigger warning: body horror, brief nudity and swearing. Reader discretion is advised.

It was a beautiful summer day. I was just sitting around reading a very good fanfiction when I hear the doorbell ring. I get up from the futon I was perched on, thinking,  I didn't order anything off of Amazon. But it could be the pizza man. I opened the door, peeking outside. It was quiet save for the sounds of summer. Then I glance down. All I could see was a purple bowtie and a tweed jacket that looked like it was made for Shaq. "Heh. I'm going to bring this in and put it on for laughs." I told myself. That was the biggest mistake I ever made in my life.

I drag the oversized costume over to my room. I was lucky I had no pets or they might have trashed it. So I put the bowtie on first. To say that I looked stupid was an understatement. I looked in the mirror and cackled at myself. Then I put on the jacket. It was large, but I loved the texture. So I look at the brooch, seeing my face reflect in it before it distorted. Huh!? I put the orange brooch back, shaking my head. I felt dizzy. I muttered, "Better lay down." I close my eyes, hoping that the unpleasant spinning sensation is done.

*****

I woke up and decided to peek in the mirror. I noticed that the oversized outfit might have gotten a little smaller, but I decided not to pay attention to that. I peeked in the mirror and froze. My eyes are now orange, looking more like something out of a cartoon. "That can't be good." I whisper, reaching towards my face. My eyes are normally blue, but any semblance to me is vanishing. "Or it's just a dream. I'll fall asleep again and hopefully this might improve." My dumbass didn't realize that it was going to get worse.

I raced to the bathroom, washing my face the best I could. I heard something crack en route. I froze, staring as my feet burst out of the sneakers I was wearing. Two large black bird feet erupted from my shoes, and that's a problem because I have porcelain white skin. I stare at what my feet became, horrified. What the frick is happening to me!? Wait... I use the f bomb! My own mind is changing too! I need to get away from my family before someone gets hurt!

I stumbled to the front door, my arm getting heavier. I collapse to the ground, realizing that whatever I am transforming into is stronger than me. I lift my head, noticing that my mouth and nose became a beak. The orange eyes seemed to grow larger and crazier. I got frightened and I flapped my arms, surprised that I had taken off and started flying. My arms were no longer arms. They were wings. My whole body was now covered in obsidian feathers. I laughed, the hooting noise echoing. Is this freedom!? I know that I needed to go somewhere safe. Haunted houses are my best option. I knew that if anyone saw me, they would die.

I recalled seeing that thing I transformed into somewhere and I froze in the air. Oh crap. I know what I became. Or rather... Who I turned into. I don't want to be like Barnaby! I knew only one person who can hopefully change me back: my crazy, witchcraft obsessed sister. I flew faster towards the woods, surprised that I found her house easily. I landed, knocking with my new foot.

My sister opened the door, her brown hair ruffled and her eyes half open. They flew all the way open and she screamed. "Shit! Ghost owl!" She yelled, pouring a copious amount of salt on me. I shook it off, staring. Well, that explains why I have the urge to kill things. Wonder how long this form has been dead.

"Gah! Thalia, it's Sirius, for frick sake!"

"Jesus Christ, Sirius. What the hell happened to you!?" Thalia asked, "And don't you usually say 'fuck' instead of frick?"

"Long story short, I put this jacket and bowtie on."

"And that's where I'm stopping you. Because that is the first fuck up. Your second one was probably napping in it. You better hope you didn't kill anyone. That's strike three." My sister rolled her eyes, then she paled at the last part.

"I didn't!"

She sighed in relief, then she told me, "Alright. Which one of us are you, 'Barnaby'?"

"Sirius, I think. My memory is getting really bad." I responded.

"Strip."

"Pardon!?"

"How else are you going to undo that? That's how clothing curses work. When you take off the article, the form it carries melts off you."

I sighed, irritated. Then I took off the bowtie. I struggled with the purple jacket until Thalia helped. "Didn't Mom or Sonic teach you nothing?"

"I don't follow." I was unsure of who this Sonic was at this point.

"If it arrives on your doorstep and you didn't order it, get rid of it!" She replied, exasperated.

I was finally undressed. "Look away! How rude!" I exclaimed, covering myself with one wing.

"Oh, there's a side effect. You pick up some of the mannerisms of the cursed clothing's inspiration and one thing might change. I honestly don't know what." Thalia added, and my stomach dropped at the thought of having wings on my arms and explaining to my whole family that I wore clothes that were cursed to make me look like Barnaby from that game Billie Bust Up. "Go to sleep." She shooed me to a room.

I wanted to protest, but the sun was now rising. I reply, hooting, "Fine, oh-hoo! You're so funny when you're mad!" Then I yawned. "Night, Thalia. Love you."

"Night, 'Barnaby'. I love you too... Even if you do stupid shit." Thalia replied, but I didn't hear the rest. I was unconscious by then.

*****

The next morning, I yawn, then I look at my wings... Pardon, my arms. I glance at myself and bit back a holler of joy. I'm back! I'm me again! I thought I was going to be stuck as Barnaby forever! I hugged myself as I mused at it, then I got dressed. I peeked into the mirror, surprised that I found a scruffy haired, orange eyes boy staring... My eyes are still orange!? Frick. I better hide this from Mom. So I put on some sunglasses, grabbed a T-shirt, jacket, and jeans. I look like Mom. If she kept her brown hair as an elite.

I decided to change shit up a little. Imma keep you on your feet for fun. This was a little tricky to write. But had fun doing it. Thank you all so much for reading this.