Personal Trainer (or lover?)

B

B - Be fit and that's it

Now, I'm putting it all together. The whole activiness thing he went on and on about, and his refusal to do the positiveness's. Turns out, my weight is the big deal in this situation. To say the least.

But I'm having a hard time believing that, still. Having to hear my boyfriend, whom I'm attracted to excessively, claiming that I'm physically unsightly is slowly burning me inside. I can already tell my face is redden than my sweater by now.

Out of the blue, Aiden turned around only to be facing me deeply. His gaze's now ever so concetrated. "Me and you- us- we're connected, and could easily get influenced by each other's actions. Whenever you're rebuffing to hang out with other friends to other places, it turns me off. Whenever you prefer to stay at your home or mines for a date, instead of going out, it turns me off. Generally, you slacking off lastly is a big turn off. I can't help but feeling what you feel, and sometimes it isn't for good." Just by hearing him insulting me directly, I'm getting more and more turned off myself.

Surely I can make of his statements. In fact, I'm not taking exception to them at all. I did desired to hang out with him more than the others, and at some point did not want to stretch my for a mile, but I've had my reasons.

Some may consider it as excuses. Yet, in my opinion, a feeling isn't something to join issue with. And what I felt like is an unmotivated girl, that yearned to exert herself but felt as she was stuck.

Stuck in an unceasing employment at the sweet job and have to wait on my costumers. Stuck in the sexual relations with Aiden and have to humor his needs. And mostly stuck in a general stress: having to overthink, overmuch, overall. Which is ironic, since I've been constantly told that calmness in my second name. Yeah, right.

Maybe in my second life. Whereas I would be carefree undoubted.

Mentioning life, I realized I had to get back to them as my mind spaced out elsewhere. Aiden must have notice me daydreaming and construed it as an astonishment. He's no used to being so strict with me, whilist I'm not used to his serious side. "Look. I'm sorry to put it that way, but it had to come out in one way or another. You know I'm a sharing man, even tho I hadn't fully proven that for the last couple of weeks, but better late than never as they say. Better than silencing about it till the point it'll come out as ugly." He explained himself.

I wonder what he meant to by 'ugly'. What could be uglier than my appearance so far? And I can be sure it counts my upper body as well. 'No doll is fully pretty unless her whole body shows it', said the guy who appeared to be my guy...

Nontheless, I may be looking different than I was one year ago, but does that means I'm acting differently? That's for him to decide, I guess. In one way or another:

He claimed that I've changed physically, whereas I claim he's changed mentally.

In the end, that's what we're here for- to patch things up. Right?

"I know what you're like, Aiden. And I'm not sad of the time it took you to share this, I'm sad because of the reason you wanted to see me for in the first place." I claimed, amazed by the thought of it. "I just never considered it'll have anything to do with my body. I thought it's owing to my personality. Something I did or didn't, something I said or not. I'm not always understanable and understanding, so I'd be more than happy to know what I'm to preserve and improve."