Today nothing really special happened.
I woke up early for work.
04:55 a.m to be exact.
I am brushing my teeth, hair and washing my face in a hurry.
Because it's impossible for me to get up that early and shower, I do that already before I go to bed.
So like every morning, I ran upstairs, only for this time to almost break my neck.
But I managed it.
I catched the bus. The bus driver didn't bother turning on lights and so it was all dark when I drove to work.
As I arrived I signed up in the computer system. But since I was almost one hour early, I decided to read a little in my book: The Hunger Games
It's a pretty good book but I almost finished it. Lucky me, I have the entire book series.
I'm currently reading that part were Katniss loses Rue.
I cried.
On the screen of my computer, in a red window with black letters, the countdown for my start of work appears.
I roll my eyes and put my book away to the side of my desk as I click on "Start"
At least I'm already getting paid 12$ for this hour, I think.
As I work, I can't help it but write on the side on my own book.
I wish I could write full time, but I can't.
I don't have a laptop yet.
It will take time until I have enough money together to fulfill my dreams to become an author.
It's not about followers or views or readers.
I just want to write. That's something I can do good. That's something I feel good doing.
I can create and be myself. But, you need some startups.
My parents never had enough money to help me with that. Which is fine. They don't own me anything.
I'll just try to keep going and do my best.
It's currently 08:15 am.
The little monster appears and sits down next to me.
That's how I call her.
She's our trainer and is there when we need help or have questions.
From the beginning on, she hated me. Of course she says, she doesn't. That's just how she is and talks. But if she gets annoyed by everything I say (and I don't say alot) but laughs and giggles when a boy says something similar, then I think I have an actual reason to think that she hates me.
Nevermind, I kept doing and besides her doubts, I made it.
My rate has improved to 100 percent.
I work quickly. Silent and good.
She never congratulated me for it. But that's fine. The less I have to do with her, the happier I am.
Fear isn't the feeling I have when she sits down next to me.
It's more... Stress.
Since she hates me, or I think that she hates me, I think she attentionally starts fights with me.
Or she's just waiting for me to make a mistake so she can run to my boss.
She did that in the past.
But I'm again lucky om that aspect.
Because my Boss... Let's call him Billy, likes me.
He knows that I'm introverted and silent. But he once said "I like you very much "
That was after my conversation with him when I told him that I felt badly treated by the monster. It was the first time I stood up for myself. Ever.
He said he was proud and patted my shoulder.
He's about 30 years old. Has kids, a wife and he wears his already greyish hair in a bun.
I think he and my coworkers try to talk to me as much as they can, but I don't make it easy for them.
It's just, I'm the youngest. Most of my colleagues are mother's. I'm their 30s or 40s or even older.
I appear to them as a kid. Sometimes even as their kid.
But we try to be as polite and friendly as possible.
But sometimes they look at me in a way that make me hate myself.
I'm not sure if it's because of my looks or the way I am. Probably both.
But, sometimes they won't talk to me and just ignore me most of the time.
Don't get me wrong, I panic when people approach and try to talk to me.
I start feeling really hot. My face turns red, (I usually try to cool it down with my cold hands) my heart starts beating fast and I start trembling.
So if they decide to ignore me, a part of me is really relieved but the other part of me starts overthinking.
"Is it because I am socially awkward? "
No matter what happens, I lose.
But today Monster didn't really bother me.
She had her meetings and talked most of the time to high rated people.
I did my job pretty good today and sometimes I even listened to some music.
The moment I put in my Earplugs is like a little lottery for me.
Because then I can doze off. Focus on work and can't hear the others talking about race, Sexuality, wealth, and all that disgusting stuff.
Then I can imagine about my book or dream.
Most of the time I was listening to Adele today.
I love the song "Set on fire to the rain" by her.
It's so inspiring and beautiful.
After 10 hours of pure boredom, I signed off the system and rushed down the stairs and to the bus station.
I took a 10 minutes ride and another ride for about fifty minutes after finally arriving home.
I went to bed, slept immediately and woke up feeling half dead.
Then I ate some vegan strawberry joghurt, oreos and drank some Pepsi Cola and watched the old episodes of SpongeBob.
Soon I'll get ready for bed (Take a shower, brush my teeth, Comb my hair, but on my night routine skincare and flee to a (hopefully) magical dreamworld.
That was today
08/21
