Penguin Problems

Chapter Five

Peso POV

"I want you both to know that this has nothing to do with you. You weren't the cause of any of this. Here we go:

I've never actually told you guys, but I do have depression, as well as anxiety. It's something I've kept to myself for awhile due to past experiences. I've never really felt comfortable talking about, because every time, I was told 'anxiety is not real' or 'you're just overreacting,'or 'we all have hard days.'

A couple weeks ago, I had my first panic attack since joining the Octonauts. It took me over an hour to calm down. I heard the Vegimals coming up the stairs and I knew if they saw me, they would tell everyone else. So I hid in my closet for fifteen minutes until I couldn't hear them any more.

I never wanted to add anything onto your plates. I wanted to prove to myself that I can take care of myself. I didn't want to bother you all. I was scared you would..."

"Judge you?" I nodded as an answer to Kwazii's question.

"Peso," he said. "We would never, ever judge you for anything."

"He's right, Peso. You can tell us anything. Anything at anytime, we'll always be right here."

For the first time in months, I shed a tear. Even with depression, I still didn't cry much.

Kwazii POV

Even through everything Peso and I had done together, I've never seen him cry. He can be a nervous wreck, but he always has a dried eye. It broke my heart into a thousand pieces to see him so sad. I wrapped my arm around his shoulder. He whispered just loud enough that we could hear him, "I was... so scared."

Even the Captain started to tear up, and frankly, so did I.

"You have nothing to be scared of, Peso. We're here, and we're never going to leave you." Peso looked up into the Captain's eyes in response. He tried to blink away the tears but they just kept flowing down his cheeks. I held him a little tighter.

"Peso, matey, you have no idea how much you mean to the crew. And me. You've been there for me time and time again. You've seen a side of me that no one else has seen."

Captain also chimed in. "You're an amazing person, Peso. You've touched the hearts of all of us on the ship and beyond. You and Kwazii... you're the most valuable members here. I may be your captain, but I'm your friend first."

"Not just friends," I added. "We're a family."

Peso glanced into both of our eyes. This time, he looked more aware and focused. I saw the shimmer in his eyes that I hadn't seen for so long.

"Remember, me hearty, you can tell us anything. We're hear to listen. We love you and want what's best for you."

Peso wrapped his flippers around me, embracing me in a tight hug. God, he gives the best hugs. He let go and did the same to the Captain. The Captain looked at me with a soft smile, but you could tell he was bursting inside.

"I'll never keep anything from you again," said Peso. "If I need anything, I'll let you know."

Captain and I nodded. The three of us engaged in the most amazing hug I've ever been in.

"I missed you, Peso," I whispered. "We all did."

Peso smiled widely. "I missed you, too."