Unspoken Desires; heejake

1;

No one knew his secret. He'd be dead before any one found out. Especially his group members. He knew how everyone would view him, not just his members, his fans, his company and worst his family. Even thinking about it makes jakes hands sweat. He was gay. In a Korean idol group with other males. He's basically a walking bomb waiting to happen. He was sat in his shared room with jay. They have practice soon and the dorm was buzzing with sound. In his hand sat his phone on with bold letters Am I GAY? written in his google search bar. He huffed throwing his head back with a groan. This is not what he needed just before preparing for a comeback. He decided to finally close all the google tabs and get himself packed for practice.

Just as he was about to step outside his room door he was collided with niki who seemed to be running away from something. no. someone. Jake laughed as niki hid behind him his head poking over Jakes at the height difference to look at the person who was now standing in from of Jake.

"you better come out now before I rip up your mj vinyls" Sunghoon said with an evil glare, Jake heard niki let out a dramatic gasp before whining out a sad little apology. "Im sorry hung I promise I never meant it," Jake moved himself from in between them giving a questioning look before deciding he didn't have the energy, he quietly made his way past them just not in the mood to socialise.

"They were my favourite shoes!  I know what you done to jays you little shit!" Jake gave a chuckle at sunghoons voicing booming down the hallway. He made his way into the living spotting sunoo on the couch next to jungwon who was currently talking to jay in the kitchen. No one noticed him coming in except heeseung who sat on the floor eyes blasted in his phone.

"Yoi jaeyun where have you been?" Jake was not expecting that, Where does he think he's been. "In my room?" it came out more of a question than a statement. He just heard heeseung hum returning to looking at his phone.

Jake settled on a kitchen stool leaning over and rubbing his forehead. He was really not feeling it today. Maybe its because he just found he was gay? or maybe- no it was definitely cause he was gay.

Jay looked at Jake in confusion then looked at the pair on the couch to see if they noticed Jake as well. Jake has never acted like this, yeah he'd be stressed but he's quiet. Normally he would be running about playing with niki or annoying one of the members hugging them. Today he was just sat ignoring everything and everyone.  Jungwon and sunoo seemed to noticed as well as they pointed at Jake and mouthed the words, "Is he okay?" jay just shrugged his shoulders before making his way around to lean next to Jake.

Jake felt weight lean on him looking up it was jay staring down at him wearing his cute round glasses that Jake quite frankly makes him look like a duck. "You okay?" his voice came out concerned and Jake tried to hide the grimace that painted his face. "Ye I mean yeah why wouldn't I be" jay gave him a weird look. "Are you sure? you're never this quiet or serious" Jake tried to hide the way his heart pinched a bit. Does this mean I'm always loud? "I said I'm fine." ok that came out a lot more snappier than he expected before he could regret it jay backed away with his hands up. "ok ok no need to be so snippy jeez," jay rolled his eyes a bit before returning to the kitchen. before Jake could even help it the words slipped out his mouth his head feeling fuzzy at the sight of jay rolling his eyes.

"Always moaning about something," before Jake could stop himself he felt himself mumble the words out. Not as quiet as he'd like to as he felt a dark voice behind him and jay turning to look at him with raised eyebrows.

"What's with your attitude. Apologise" jake flinched from the voice beside him turning to look and seeing heeseung standing towering over him. His statement caught  jungwon and sunoos attention both of them turning to look. Jake made eye contact with the older eyes, them smaller than the usual Bambi eyes, squinting at Jake in a threatening way. Jake felt his hands get sweaty unable to tear his eyes away from heeseungs.

"I said apologise to him,"  jake jumped in his seat at his angry voice. Heeseung has never been angry at him before.  He quickly shifted his eyes back to jay who was standing with his arms crossed.

"I-I'm sorry Hyung"  jay quickly let his eyes soften seeing the younger on the verge of tears and at the fact he had called him hyung, jake never uses formal words with him. 

"Nah don't worry bro what's going on with you?" By now the at that point Jake felt pressured at all those eyes on him.

"Nothing just didn't sleep well," he hung is head low not wanting to see their reaction to his shit excuse.

"We'll just try to be less snippy hyung we're all tired," it was jungwon who spoke up this time his tone soft as to not annoy the older and Jake just nodded keeping his head low.

The silence was broke by Niki running down the hall laughing clearly not phased by the silence he chucked himself next to Jake making Jake wobble a bit, he giggled when he felt hands on his waist holding him straight thinking it was Niki before he heard heeseungs voice again.

"Be careful Niki-ah" jake tensed feeling the hands rubbed his waist a bit. He tensed feeling his cheek heat up a bit at the intimate action. Before Jake could make things anymore awkward jungwon announced it was time to leave.

As everyone rushed to get there shoes on, Jake sighed. This is really not his day.