Darkest Days. -(Michaeng)

Chapter Four.

Chapter song: Butterfly- BTS

I woke up to my alarm *8am* i reads. I quickly took off Momos hoodie and hung it back in her closet, so no one can touch it. I undressed staring at my slim ghostly like figure. I lost so much weight, i haven't been eating. I started getting chest pains again, i need to start taking care of myself again. I quickly got in the shower and did my skin care. I slid into some baggy jeans and a light blue HAVARD hoodie, and slipped on my converse tightly tying them. I walked into the kitchen to see my mother with a glass of wine and a bagel, reading the newspaper.

"really? it's 8 am and you're drinking already" i said angered fixing my bangs.

"be quiet, we all cope differently" she scoffed

"where's father"

"who knows probably out with another whore" she said bitterly

"and you let it happen" i scoffed stealing her bagel and leaving out the door.

"Good morning miss Myoui" jungkook greeted me handing me my keys and opening the door for me.

"please kookie i told you to call me mina" i said taking a bit of my bagel.

"Sorry mina your mom's watching" he blushed in embarrassment.

I look at the front door there she is standing there in her robe with a glass of wine.

I flip her off, her not being able to see with my tinted windows.

I drive away earning a light chuckle from jungkook.

I parked outside the office. Greeted as i walked in i bowed to the receptionist.

"Hello, 9am for Myoui Mina" i fake smiled, i hated coming here but with what i've witnessed it's wise to come here, and plus i don't completely hate talking to my therapist.

"Ahh yes Mina head right in  he's waiting for you" she warmly smiled.

*Dr Kim Namjoon* i read as he stares at me quietly.

It always goes like this, i come in he stares at me reading me perfectly  for a couple minutes until it comes unbearable and then starts speaking.

"so mina, what's new this week" he started.

"ugh nothing really, i'm doing good (that's a lie) i'm doing good in school i'm tutoring someone, life at home is good(again another lie)" i stated

He stared at me for a couple seconds "tell me the truth"

"fine, dr it's hard, it hard waking up everyday feeling empty inside, it's hard getting out of bed, it's hard living my life, i hate every second i'm alive i want to be with momo, my moms a drunk, my dad doesn't come home he's out all night with whatever $5 whore he can buy, my love life is nonexistent and same with my sex life, it's hard to go home, it's hard to sleep 10 feet from where i found my sisters lifeless body, i don't want to live without momo, i don't know why i'm feeling this way, i hear all this bullshit about healing and finding yourself, well doctor it's been 5 fucking months and i still think about Momo every second of my day, why can't i heal, WHY CANT I MOVE ON" i said bombarding him with emotions.

He breathed deeply leaning forward. "mina it's okay"

i felt tears forming, trying to hold back my lip quivered.

"let it out, it's okay to cry, it's okay to feel the way you do, it's okay to have these emotions, you witnessed a traumatic event in your life, she's your sister, she's been in your life since birth it's not easy losing someone you love, especially when you had a inseparable relationship, she is your bestfriend, it's okay to feel hopeless, it's okay to feel depressed, it's okay mina it's okay" he said gently grabbing my hand as i started to sob.