Haii. Ith admin Bread here!
This is for the guys that somehow managed a girl to get into their pants but don't know what to do.
Italics; Actions. Bold; Boy. Normal: Girl.
This is definitely what should not happen.
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"What are you doing?"
"Stripping naked."
"Why?"
"You know why."
"Hey you dropped this."
*gives the girl her bra back*
"No I don't need it."
"It's cold though."
"Warm me up then, handsome."
*eyes lights up*
"Got it!"
*rushes back with thick blankets*
"Are you warm yet?"
"This isn't what I meant."
"Hey that's my shirt."
"What are you doing why are you removing my stuff?"
"Yah that tickles!"
"Why are you touching my peeing stick?"
"WHY ARE YOU EATING MY PEE STICK?"
"You're milking me!"
"Why are you fondling my jingle bells?"
*girl stands up*
"Why don't you do something?"
*guy pokes the face*
"Ahi."
"I just noticed all the food you eat goes to the chest. They're split into two stomachs now."
"Why are you leaking?"
"Is that pee?"
"I have an idea."
*comes back with tissue and wipes away the wetness*
"All your hole tears are gone now!"
"Girls are such sponges... They have so many holes."
"Keep your-pee stick.. in the hole!"
"Which one?"
*jabs it in her ear*
"WRONG HOLE YOU IDIOT."
"Nose?"
"MIANHAE MIANHAE HAJIMA..."
"Just stop."
"There's too many holes!"
"Get dressed and leave. I'm done."
"But my mushroom is sneezing out mayo."
"It's CUM, for goodness sake!"
"Where did it go?"
"GET DRESSED AND OUT."
*comes back with ranched dressing*
"Should there be tomato?"
"JUST COVER YOURSELF UP."
*guy sticks cabbage on himself*
"I AM SALAD."
"I WILL DROWN YOU IN A RIVER."
"OHH, CRY ME A RIVAAAA..."
"GET OUT!"
"But what if your hole starts crying again? There's even two!"
"Leave!"
"Leaf? Cabbage?"
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And in the end you, my friend, are shoved out the door.
Don't let that happen. Don't be this guy. Anyway, yes hello hope you learnt something. Kbye.
-Bread
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Dumb Sex Things
RandomThose moments during sex where you just wanna throw the other person into a river. A basic guide to what NOT to do during sex, and why Hyunwoo is actually 5 years old. Enjoy and be warned. Forehead may suffer swelling from extreme facepalming.
