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Chapter 16

Camila Cabello had never spent much time dwelling on anything in her life. She figured there wasn't much use in it. Everything happened for a reason. Like, for instance, when Austin Mahone threw her lollipop in the sandpit in 1st grade because she was a stupid girl. Or when her best friend stopped being her friend when she came out to her at a sleepover. Or when she missed the flying cheerleader in a faulty basket toss and the girl spent the first semester of their senior year in a neck brace. Or blowing out a knee and dashing all her dancing aspirations. Or, more recently, like meeting the woman of her dreams. Which is great, except she lived on the other side of the country.

For most of those things, Camila didn't even need to know the reason. It just was how it was. The thing with Lauren was different, though. No, her relationship with Lauren was another story.

Meeting Lauren was a life-changing event. Being with her was everything she thought it would be. Everything. It was even better than she imagined. But, leaving Lauren in New York was agonizing. And now she felt like she was living from phone call to phone call. When the wait between the phone calls was too long, she felt like she'd go insane.

It was one of those times, as she was cuddled under the sheets on her bed staring at her phone. She'd been willing it to ring for the last two hours. Or buzz, buzzing would be okay. Chiming would work. Vibrating. Chirping. Any of those. The longer she stared, though, the less happened. Lauren said she'd call as soon as she could. Logically, she knew that could mean anytime. In her head, though, all sorts of scenarios were playing out. What if Lauren was hurt? What if Lauren didn't want to call? What if Lauren changed her mind? What if Lauren met someone else? What if Lauren was arrested for trying to cover up a Ariana Grande murder? The waiting was torture.

"Okay, I'm officially worried," she heard Normani say.

She looked up to find her best bud and roommate leaning on the door frame with his arms crossed over her chest. "Why? Do you think something happened?"

"About you, Mila," Normani told her as she made her over to sit on the bed. "I'm worried about you. You...aren't yourself."

"I'm me." She sat up in her tangled sheets, but still clutched her phone tightly.

"You haven't been you in three weeks. You haven't had your usual rainbow sprinkles on your double scoop ice cream cone. You haven't rearranged the refrigerator poetry magnets. You haven't even picked out a Halloween costume for Lord Pumpkin. It's very un-Camila-like."

"Pumpy doesn't want to do Halloween. He's dieting. He said he felt like a chubster in his pumpkin costume last year and all the neighborhood kids kept calling him Garfield."

"Okay, that's probably a good thing. That he's dieting," Normani clarified. "But that's not really the point, Mila. I mean, you were so happy when you got back from New York. Now, you just seem sad all the time."

"I'm happy!" she defended. "I'm really happy."

"Are you sure? This isn't like the time your face started confusing your emotions, is it?"

"No. I'm happy. I'm sad that Lauren's not...here...or I'm not there." She sunk down in bed and she consciously tried to keep her lips from turning down. "I am sad that this is so new and we're so far away from each other. I just wish we were together."

"But you are together."

"Yes. Just not together together."

"Have you talked about that yet?" Normani asked curiously. "Is it an exclusive together?"

"Yes," Camila said slowly. "Of course, it's exclusive."

"And you're really okay with that? Not dating anyone else?"