02 : I know am at fault

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I really hate the moment I stay silent because for that only mistake I lost her for forever

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I really hate the moment I stay silent because for that only mistake I lost her for forever.

I really want her like thirsty human needs water , like a soul need in a body . But I lost my soul due to my mistake.

When she left my life , that moment in her those big round shape brown eyes , which filled with disappointment , anger and mostly hate.

That is the moment I know I can't get back her . She is right as a human she has very right to see dreams and live for those dreams .

Still I remember her words " we live to live in those dreams which make us a unique individual "

For her , her career and freedom are those dreams she want to live .
I really envy her how she without a second thought choose the right thing for herself , she really give a damn those people which are less important to her.

I hope I get a chance to win her back , and this time I will be the one she want not the one which society made me .

"Shivan .... Shivamn. " Maa called me with her loud voice and I know reason of her calling my name .

" What happened mom ? " I replied

" It's been 2yrs why don't you move on from that girl ? She never loved you if she loved you she would choose you not her so called dreams" Mom said

" And maa admit that we are wrong , she never say anything which was wrong . It is you who still believes in those hippocracy" I said in anger . I really hate when anyone try to prove wrong someone they know that person is right .

" But Shivan.... We have enough money with us , then why did she need to work ? You have a company where you give jobs to million people. Then where am I wrong? " Maa said even after she knows where she is wrong .

" Maa listen it is not like I don't want to move on , I just don't want to spoil another girls' life in the name of your so called NAME IN THE SOCIETY" I replied in extremely anger .

" Maa I am really sorry for which way I said these things but I am not sorry for my words , so now stop the drama otherwise I will really leave the house . Please order someone to serve me breakfast I am getting late for my office " I said in a calmed voice.

Because of my divorce Baba gives silent treatment to maa , baba also believe that every individual have the right to be independent in every term . For him, because of my maa my marriage broke .
Little did he know that it is my silence , it is my words which broke our relationship .

I am really a jerk .
After our divorce I literally don't know where she is , how she is because I am too much ashamed to face her .

Now I am in Jaipur but I don't know where she is . I hope one day I will able to face her .
I really hope where she is , she lives happily .
I don't want to think that she is moved on with anyone or not. Because it hurts when I imagine her with any other person . It feels like someone stab my heart with knife .

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English is not mu native language. Please ignore thr grammatical errors.

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