Nameless

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I hate fridays, and i always have.

My dad would pick me up from school every day, and usually, that was fine.
He would drop me off at my singing lessons, but on fridays, i didn't have my lessons.
So i had to stay home for 2 long days, trapped in my room. It could be suffocating.

Unfortunately for me, it's a friday.

I sat in my history class, my last lesson of the term.

That was worse than a usual weekend.
A whole 2 weeks compared to 2 days.

But at least I'd still have my singing lessons..

They were the highlights of my day. But my dad said that, Since I'm starting my GCSEs this year, once they are over, i must get a full-time job or go to college.

My dream college is 2 hours away from my home town. It would be a great way for me to escape home, but i wouldn't be able to continue my singing lessons.

Most people would just find another singing teacher, but mine, Rebecca, was like no other. And if i got a new singing teacher, i would not be anywhere near as comfortable with them as i am with Rebecca.

So i was stuck in a major predicament. I wanted to go to college to hopefully get a music degree, but i wanted to stay near Rebecca to continue my singing lessons

It wont be the end of the world if i stop my singing lessons or vice versa, but it's my future, and that is very important.

I've spent hundreds of hours just thinking about this.

The thoughts of my future wirl around in my head.

I think im overreacting, but i also think this was extremely reasonable.

If i stay here, i have to get a job, if i want a good job i need to pass my GCSE's but if i got to college i can get a part time job and have extra education to try help me get a better job.

But if i go to the college i want I'll probably suffer, i mean im only 16, ill have to move out and try find some residence but that will cost me alot and then ill have to buy my own food and i dont think a part time job will be able to cover all of that.

I think i particularly understand adults.

This is so overwhelming.

Somehow, these thoughts did actually bring me to the end of the lesson.

The bell rang out loud, and my clasmates grabed their things before shoving each other in order to leave.

This was such a stressful experience. Being in the middle of the crowd.

Once i get outside, i go out to the front of school to wait for my dad. It would typically take him 20 minutes to arrive, which was genuinely the most frustrating thing ever.

I dont think parents understand making their child stand outside their school for 20 minutes while other students walk by and typically stare is embarrassing.

The worst part of it all was that it was winter.

Most people we're walking, so they could kind of warm up, but i just stood there freezing.

I had to find any kind of distraction because if i didn't, i would go back to thinking about the stress about college and a job and my singing lessons. I did not want to think about that again.

I'd try to count every car that went by or every person i saw. But that was incredibly boring.

I kept checking my phone almost every minute to see if time passed, but it only made it feel slower.

The pain from the cold was almost crippling.

I internally begged that my dad would hurry up.

I think that im perfectly capable of walking home, but my dad thinks I'll get myself killed.

He says that as if he cares, but I've almost died more time than i can count in my own home...