Trembling like the crunch of white snow
It all disappeared, all that I know
Heaven's Ervanna souls
Lifting up, carrying each other up, like the way we climbed up the McDonald's play place when we were little.
And did we get sick?
Did we come home, with bumps and bruises, wondering why we ever tripped?
Was TV Girl right? Is heaven over our heads?
It's pretty, when flowers get to dream. When I thought I wanted so badly to do jump rope, and yet my young legs betrayed their seams
What do you wish for, say it quietly, too quiet to hear, too quiet to comprehend
At the second the light shone through, it was like you found your first and only friend
And they might stay a while, until you know it's your reflection. It shows up on your dreams, you forget, and now You've turned it into reality. Perfection.
If anyone would blame you now, you'd know that you were blameless
And somehow back then, blame felt like a crushing cinder block, and it hurt, so bad
Is snow really that cold? Can I go out in shorts? It's a burden to think. Is it fun to do crazy things for no reason? Do you want to impress anyone? Is that the only schtick that matters? But what do you care about? Do you explain, and explain, and over-explain, long past anyone still caring? Do you stay quiet, does inspiration fizzle out? Do you love the world and others? Did you have grass? Do you love grass? Which has it always been?
The consistency of a cake is its greatest strength. You can tell where it has not blended well, and what traits it has known from the beginning. And for my cake, who am I?
I've always dreamed. I've always imagined, I've always been creative.
That's not quite enough, write more.
Okay, what do you want me to write?
I don't know, just write something
Write something...
I have to admit something. Okay, this is very embarrassing. I went too fast, and my little brother stopped and stared at me, then I went back in my room, and then my dad saw me and I felt only slightly ugly and then I felt I was eating too fast and I was also overwhelmed that i had to do so many things on my own and then I bumped my hair on the table and started crying. Emotions welled up inside me because I keep them down for safety.
I don't know if I'm a puppet or a lady. If I'm a flower to live a happy life or someone meant to teach everyone. It would be lovely and nice to be both. I don't make plans. It's scary, I have to trust the world. It almost makes me cry. And when will my material God, a man that I love come along? I'm going to cry.
I can't trust the people I looked up to. I met my idol, he stood a foot from my face while he sang my favourite song. And I think, as hard as it sounds to say this, I was too self conscious about my looks to fully enjoy it even though in the moment, I told myself to. I ruin everything for myself. It's okay to jump to conclusions, I ruin everything for myself, I ruin everything for myself.
I'm such a happy person. I help all my friends. I make so many creative things. I truly love the world. But I can't look up the quoter people. I can't trust them. Constellation star betrayed my trust I think, in a few ways. And I'm not supposed to even trust anyone but a lover, so is it on purpose? I'm trying to read the signs. Part of me can't trust him because I'm worried of him giving me totally wrong advice. Or misunderstanding my situation and my moods. Or twisting how I feel into something it's not. It's ugly.
Ok.. I am pure I am worthy of love. Say it with me I am pure I am worthy of love.
Light a candle, respond to my friend. Kuuta I appreciate you forever and ever. You changed my life.
Those letters we wrote will always be special to me.
I think I'll light a candle. This one has three wicks and it's really pretty. My brother is leaving to uni. I'll miss him.
He doesn't speak up about how he feels ever. I wonder if he thinks I should have been like him.
You can't change nature.
Someone, that I look up to, that I don't trust- said that he wants a house that would crumble if it weren't maintained.
Well I'm going to do that to my body. And beauty is pain. And if I don't maintain it, it will crumble.
It's like earrings, but more worth it because then a man will take me ☺️
It's the perfect time for it.
Okay without any judgement I was born with a defect and I'm going to get surgery soon I really dislike talking about it but
I just want to be okay. My friend Jacklyn says it will be a lot but she gave me tips. I haven't told Jackie, my other friend.
I am kind of excited I never thought this would happen for me I promise I will be okay.
Um, shout-out my best friend Elli. I want her to also become pretty and love life.
