My One For Half A Million

Prep

The week before the wedding was chock full of more hustle and bustle than I'd been a part of in years, and by the end of each day, Xy and I were exhausted.

That's not to say we didn't fuck. Because we did. There were a lot of closets in the local rent-a-room Leah had found, and Xylar and I explored all of them.

I would herd him into one, him looking at me in excitement and a little bit of fear, and as soon as the door shut behind me I would push him against the wall, kissing his throat, leaving hickeys just under the hemline of his shirt. His hands would twist in my hair and he would moan a little. Sometimes he was the one taking me into a closet, holding me up against the wall, kissing my neck and begging. No one ever came in, and I'm not sure if it was because they knew what was up or because no one used the closets.

Eventually, despite our distractions, Leah and Xy's plan began to come together.

Xylar and I went out to pick up our wedding bands, and Leah found a caterer. Azalea hinted that she could DJ for us, but Aunt Fi already had one booked, so Azalea was a bridesmaid instead. Sam and Jay arranged a Bachelorette party for me, so two days before my wedding, I was getting dressed up to go mini golfing and day drinking with them when I got a call from Xylar, who sounded frantic.

"Hi-Zoe-I-Just-Need-A-Friend-Right-Now. Will-You-Please-Just-" he took a deep breath "come to my mom's house. Please."

"Yeah. Yeah, of course. I'll be right there."

"Thank you. Thank you, thank-" he thanked me so long I had time to get to my car before he stopped. Even then, I only got hom to stop by telling him i was driving over right then.

I called Sam and Jay while I drove, and explained that, sorry, I couldn't be there right now because my fiance sounded like he was having a meltdown.

"Girl."

"Girl."

"If he has doubts about the wedding, I'll kill him." A beat of silence from Jay. "Some people do that, evidently."

"I don't think so. He told me to come to his mom's house, and she's, you know... sick."

"Shit."

"Shit."

This time from Sam. "You do what you've gotta do, Zoe, we can wait, reschedule, whatever. Go take care of your man."

"Okay. Thank you, guys."

"Bye."

"Good luck!"

A click, and I was alone in a silent car going nearly ten miles over the speed limit. I had only met Xy's mom a few times now, once at her house and a couple while getting things arranged. But Xy adored her, and she seemed lovely, and the thought of her dying made me sad. Oddly, I didn't think about what impact it would have on the wedding. On my wedding. I only really thought about how distraught Xylar would be.

I pulled up into the driveway and knocked on the door. It swung open, and I was enveloped in the smell of lavender and cookies, as well as Xylar's thick arms. They squeezed me, nearly crushing a few bones, but I didn't mind. I just rubbed his back and murmured, 'I'm here,' until he let me go and we went inside.

He sat me on the couch and asked if I wanted anything to drink. I didn't.

"Is she... okay?"

There were shiny tears in the corner of his eyes. "I dont- know. I don't know. She's getting tested today, and the thought of more treatment... it's killing her, Zo."

"She has good doctors, right? They'll-"

"No, it's the treatment that's killing her. She used to be so robust, her cheeks were always red... she's so tired now. I hate seeing her like that."

He took a deep breath and leaned, putting his head on my shoulder. I could smell his shampoo.

"She's at the doctor's right now. They're testing her... I'm not really sure for what, she doesn't tell me anything. I'm sorry, I just got really, really anxious and I needed someone and I know you were busy and- what are you wearing, Zo?"

I blushed. I was suddenly shy about the way his eyes looked so solemnly and honestly into mine.

"Bachelorette party."

"Ah. Oh." He looked away. "I'm sorry. You can go back, if you... want. I didn't mean to pull you away."

I wrapped my arm around his shoulder. "It's alright. I want to be here."

There was silence, for a moment, and in that moment, I realized something. I could smell his hair, and I could feel in tickle my cheek, and with his head on my shoulder and his shoulder under my hand, it all felt very safe. I felt very safe, and content, and-

I bolted to standing. "I have to go. To the bathroom. I-" I blushed, shifted on my feet, and took a step.

"It's that way," he pointed, looking a bit shunned.

I waved, awkwardly, and stumbled into the bathroom. I whipped my phone up and texted Leah.

Leah, this is gonna sound crazy. But I have a problem.

Typing. Which is?

I love Xylar.
I wasn't supposed to love Xylar.
It was a scam. I'm sorry. I only get my inheritance if I get married, and I need that money. So I asked him, and he said yes, and I'm at his house and he's crying because his mom might die, and Leah.
I'm in love with him.

I began to shake, watching the little bubble pop up and disappear, over and over. She sure took a while to type. Okay, that makes sense.
But I don't see the problem here.

I LOVE HIM. our wedding is fake and I LOVE HIM.

He might like you back, Zoe. I get the wedding is fake but I haven't seen someone look at someone else like that in YEARS. maybe ask him.

I sighed. I was too far in to back out now. Confessing anything might make it weird. And it coukd just be the stress of planning a wedding.

Maybe, I texted back, and then went back to join him in the living room, where we sat and watched cartoons until the front door opened and his mother stepped inside, face streaked with tears.