Torch My Heart

You consume my mind.

Time and time again,

I want you to love me like I love you.

You came into my life to show me an image of my unhealed self,

To give me insight to the things I still wasn't ready to see in myself

Isn't that funny how we can always see the fault of others so clearly and not notice our own.

You felt so much like home to me,

I was so comfortable with you,

we shared the same scars

Childhood, relationship trauma, abandonment, anxiety, fear, and protection of the divine.

I never once had to explain, you already understood

But you never could explain your battles to me because you hadn't healed.

The only thing left for me to do was make a choice,

Stay in the comfort of our old wounds continuously bleeding and bonding

Or to leave in total

The hardest thing to do was to leave and turn my back on what could have been because,

Then I would be turning my back on me.

And my ego told me I couldn't do that...

But, my spirit whispered, "Everything you dreamed of is on the other side."

The universe was reframing my pain for me,

I would be turning my back on parts of me that no longer served the lifestyle I was going into,

I had no place in my legacy for the detriments of my past wounds,

For someone who wasn't able to love me with the same capacity, or doubted my dreams even for a second.

I torched the heart and the chords attached between us, and walked a way with my peace of mind as a reprieve.

I was leaving behind a love that didn't serve me,

And the unhealed woman I used to be.

I'll watch you drown in flames again & again in agony and despair before I let you offer me less than I deserve, and attempt to undo my healing.

Torch my heart,

I've got a new one, filled with self-love.