Captive Amidst The Forest

Prologue

Elora's POV

It burns, like a firework inside of my heart.

Igniting a chaotic mess of feelings that all gurgle together. Its to much and not being able to separate one feeling from another so I can process it all into something less explosive and painful just isn't something my mind or body are cable of right now no matter how hard I struggle to stay together. All while the flames try to burn me from the inside out.

I must look like a statue because I've focused every single cell in my body to focus on holding me together.

Yet I can't stop the hot tears that stream down my cheeks. I hate that. I want to hide all and any vulnerability and failing to keep the moisture from falling just adds another volatile emotion in the furnace of my soul.

Failure.

I've never wanted to crawl out of my own skin as desperately as I do now.

I've never hated myself to this fiery, molten level of burning hatred before this moment.

I allowed myself to see through rose colored glasses my whole life. Put them over my eyes purposely in hopes that staying inside the perfect box I have created would save me. Thinking if I could just accept my place.. accept myself, or pretend to long enough until I actually believed those lies. Not only believe but I tried so hard to become those lies.

I could have enjoyed my life and find happiness in the path given to me. I think. Probably....

That avenue is gone now, buried by a fire storm under layers of regret.

How stupid have I been? To believe if I could simply think something 'hard' enough, that it must come to be. Right?

Wrong. So very wrong and stupid. Stupid, dumb Elora.

It's just one destructive thought after the next. Stop. Please.

How weak I must be? To have this be the thing that crumbles me.

How Helpless am I? To be at the unforgiving mercy of my bodies own instincts. The unchangeable biology within me that won't allow the screams and desire to physically cause damage in some way and.. give into the fucking rage I feel right now. The desire to retaliate.

I'd like to be able to at least throw the damn lamp on my night stand. Destroy something and have it match how I feel inside.

So many dark feelings, and thoughts continue to swirl in my soul.

Yet I do none of it.

My instincts demand I concede to the demands made by my pack members. My subservient demeanor in a society with animalistic tendencies puts me at the bottom.

Strength and rank rule here.

Two things I'll never have.

Positions offered to me are as follows: a servant, a listening ear, caretaker, nanny, Labor worker, assistant, chauffeur, farm hand, whatever title they label it, it's a life of servitude.

Nothing more.

Im trying to distract myself, I know. Thinking about anything outside what's happening right now. My mind has always wondered when my feelings get trapped inside, unable to be let out and never have I ever concealed so many before at once.

I've resented life many times, but only wanted to allow myself a small amount of time for pity for the life those above me force me to live.

Until I realized fairly quickly nothing would come from wallowing in those dark emotions. I had slowly.. reluctantly.. learned to appreciate what little my world would allow me to experience.

It was working, I thought. I smiled more.
Laughed at times until my breath left me. Found the motivation to sing without it bringing tears to my eyes.

That was until tonight, like life just wasn't content with allowing me any joy no matter how small.

So here I lay. Completely naked in a bed of crumpled sheets with the uncomfortable feeling of his release leaking out of my core.

While my soul shatters. Shredded into the tiniest of pieces. Reduced to tiny little grains of sand ready to float away with the rising tide of my turbulent heart break.

With a shuttered breath, I gripped the sheet over my body in the worst makeshift shield ever made. Hoping that if I at least covered my vulnerable form, some strength would return. I would need any drop of it I still had to do what's been demanded of me.

So after I steal myself in false willpower I open my mouth to complete what he started.

"And I, Elora D'luka and Omega of The Friesland Pack, accept your rejection, Van Sørenson and Alpha of Pack Friesland".

______________________________

Bum.. Bum.. Bumm!

What do you think?

I've decided to just put it out there. The pressure to share my writing is intense. I have about 3 books I'm currently finishing. This one's going to just be a little writers fun. To break out of the box I've stuffed myself in. Updates may be slow, but they'll come don't worry. I'll put more focus and my time on this story if it gains a solid readers club.

If your reading this, thank you! Leave a comment, press the star to show me some love, and above all enjoy yourself as I take you on a fantasy telling of heartbreak🫀