When We Were Young (JACHAELA AU)

-Chapter 5-

1 year passed...

2 years passed...

Cal was diagnosed with Leukemia.

3 years passed...

4 years passed...

Evie and I got into a car accident.

I was loaded into an ambulance, practically unconscious. My head was pounding and I couldn't see much around me from the blood that had gotten in my eye. "She's stable." I heard a male EMT say. "She's NYPD, her name is Michaela Stone." I didn't understand why or how that was relevant. 

"Where are we at with her emergency contact?" A female EMT called out from the front. "Jared Vasquez, also NYPD." Jared. The love of my life. How I loved him. Is there where would die? Would this morning be the last time I would see him? The last time I would kiss him?

So many questions were crossing my mind, but one struck me deeply; How was Evie doing?

The ride to the hospital was eternally long, but they quickly put me in a room, started taking the glass out of my face and stitching me up.  It hurt like hell but I knew that me and Evie would look back on this one day and I'd remind myself to never drink and drive again.

I was in my room for 10 minutes before Jared ran in with tears obviously in his eyes. "Mick." He held me and kissed my head. It hurt but I needed him so much to the point that I was okay with taking the pain as long as I was in his arms.

"Hey, J." He put his face in the nook between my neck and shoulder as his few tears fell. He wasn't the type to cry too much so I knew how much this had affected him. "I'm sorry, I'm hurting you." He separated himself and looked me in the eyes.

"No, baby, it's okay. I'm okay. How's Evie doing? Have you heard anything about her?"  I readjusted myself so that I could sit up and I saw his face drop. From there, my heart sank. "Jared?" He was speechless. "Jared?"

"Evie- Evie passed away, Mick. I'm so sorry." 

"I killed her," I said in between sobs. "Jared, I killed her." He pulled me in close and left there as I screamed and cried and just let go of everything I was feeling at the moment. "Mick you didn't kill her." He kissed my head and comforted me as much as I needed it. I don't think I would have made it through this moment without him there.

My parents came in soon after I was told that Evie passed away. They all sat with me, in grief. I felt beyond guilty.

I was discharged and Jared and I went back to our apartment and I laid on our bed feeling empty. At this point, empty wasn't even the word. I'd describe it as this; everything I had, such as Jared, my family, all of those things; I didn't deserve that anymore.

I just took a life, Evie's life. 

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The weeks felt long and tedious. I couldn't sleep, I was exhausted. Jared was with me at all times. He took time off of work and helped me through everything. I went to therapy a few times but the only thing that seemed to take my mind off everything was running.

On this particular afternoon, I had run to Jared and I's park. We had declared it our park the day I knew I loved him. This was the first time I had smiled since the accident. I sat on the bench and stared out into the sunrise remembering that day when I heard faint music.

"Saying "I love you", Is not the words I want to hear from you..." Our song was playing from behind me. I turned around to see Olive and Cal holding up a boombox as they approached me, from behind a tree came my Mom and Dad with a video camera while Grace and Ben followed. 

 I stood up to get a better view of them all. "Suprise."  I heard Jared say as he walked towards me. "You cheese ball." I smiled and he kissed me ever so sweetly. That kiss felt as though it had taken all my problems away. 

"What are you doing?" I asked while he had his hands cupped around my face. "I have loved you from the first moment I laid eyes on you, Michaela Beth Stone. You know they say through thick and thin, good times and bad, but I'm here to tell you, in front of everyone that loves you; I will never leave your side, Whatever we face. Will you marry me?"

I wanted nothing but to say yes. To get married to him and have kids with him, but the same thought always came back. Evie just died and I'm already moving on to being happy. I couldn't do that to her. 

I told Jared to let me think about it. Not because I didn't want to marry him, I did but because I felt so guilty for moving on and I knew I couldn't hold on to that forever but I did and I regret it to this day.

I continued my day and went home with Jared. He was okay with my decision, he knew this was hard for me and he made sure to tell me that.

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We went to my parent's house for dinner the next day. It had gotten a bit awkward with Jared and I couldn't help but feel it was my fault. I wasn't trying to make it awkward. He was really trying to bear with me and I messed that up.

Once we arrived at my parents we sat down and didn't speak for the rest of the night. I felt like crying and throwing up all at once. I excused myself to the bathroom and sat against the wall in my old room and let it all out. 

I screamed, cried, and sobbed as I swore that no one could hear me since everyone was downstairs. I felt horrible for doing this to Jared. We had not spoken and this had never happened before.

I heard a knock on the door and I wiped my tears as much as I could. "Come in." Grace walked through the door. "What's wrong?" I tried to keep it in but was unsuccessful. "I messed up, Grace." Her face made no gesture as if she already knew.

"No, you didn't but now everything makes a lot of sense." She left me confused. Did I do something that made it obvious? "You didn't give Jared an answer because of Evie." She continued and I nodded my head. 

"It's okay to feel guilty or even traumatized, Michaela. But Jared loves you so much and we can all see it. You can be happy." She was right. "Thank you, Grace."

"Anytime, there was also something else I wanted to talk to you about." I sat up and looked at her. "We're taking a trip in a week and a half to Jamaica, we all booked it last minute to take our minds off of Cal's cancer. Would you like to come?"

I impulsively said "Yes." and awaited our life-changing family vacation.