Sonata

I - III

Returning to my room, my dresses adorn the floor. Mountains of shoes pile on the side, jewels, accessories, makeup, all trails behind me as a responsibility that is mine to take now. I reach the window leaning myself in it as I begin to reminiscing already for the solitude I might not be given once I leave, at least from what my sister used to tell me it does become suffocating to be given to someone else, unwillingly. How ironic is it, that I am the one to take her future in hands, one that is decided and yet to discover how it is fated. Am I at the wrong for never desiring to build one for myself and still try to claim freedom? To be given a house, a husband and the opportunity of a family, a settled tale missing every bit of a fairy. I have seen what this world expects from you. I have also seen woman dying for this world, as they are not to be fortuned enough to meet the expectations, left on the streets, unwanted, for being widowed,  for being old,  for being poor, for never carrying a child and here I am being chosen as  trophy and sold as physical warranty for temporary happiness and that is not my own, all because we wear the same mask, sister, what else do I know from a world who lies to itself as excuses of tradition and profit? I haven't seen one to live and tell a different story. - It shouldn't be my responsibility to fulfill someone else's dreams just because I empty my mind of having one. - I spit turning to Matteo who tip toes inside the room. Matteo is our older brother, a killing figure, so slim his bones define his lines,  the dark hair falls up to his waist in a low braided ponytail and the dark circles around the sad tone of a pale blue pair of eyes trace his melancholic expressions, always dressed tight and in black, unnoticed, resting at the shadows of the already married. - I didn't had a say either when I married. But I did lucked out. - He drags his feet next to me, standing on my side at the window. - But I believe you will be in good hands. He's a fine man I heard, just fill his cup of tea and give him babies, what ease at life could another possible woman wish for? - He stares expressionless through to the scenery of the horses already being prepared on the outside. I sense lies. - I don't believe sister felt that way, let alone allowing anyone to reduce her to the expectations of a wife and a woman, I sense that the cause of death is closer to what your lips profaned right now than the illness you affirmed over her corpse. - I turn to Matteo who defies staring back at me - You had spoken to her?- He's curious. I softly grin as I step back from his side. His hand surrounds my wrists and he locks it. - For what sake she said, you know she was a fool. - There was stutter disguised as nervous giggles, his hand pressure my wrist as he tries to read my thoughts, he knows something, doesn't he? I turn my head and softly free my wrist from his touch.  I reach for a dress of the floor and press it against my body as I appreciate my figure through the mirror. - No. It wasn't him that held place in-between her lips. - I throw the dress on the bed. - Tell me sister. - Matteo agitable says reaching for me once more, he seeks possession of a thought that is not his to own.

Eleonor steps into the room not once making eye contact and breaking the chain of events it might have happened, your fate changes at someone else's decisions too. - Your father calls you. - She says as I excite for this voice of hers. I stare Matteo as I draw a ironic smile that could cut my lips ear to ear and I turn making way through my room kicking everything to free a path through my way out of this room. I turn to my brother - I believe you will not be here to be seen when I am to be back? - I smile. - If you do, at least have something interesting to say other than your hopes of seeing me being successfully  delivered to a stranger who I am meant to call a husband, who I am meant to blindly believe he will be good to me, in a month's time. If not, I expect you to be gone. - I leave Matteo behind.