Your arms around me, But your soul is somewhere else
Normani POV
Its been over a week since Jay accident, we flew back home from LA and he's been taking it slow and on bedrest ever since.
The doctor didn't want him to risk further injuring himself so he deemed bedrest as the main priority.
I haven't spoken to Kehlani ever since the day I flew out to LA. It's not because I don't want to, I know we have more to talk about. It's just I have to handle this talk with Jay first before anything else.
I was staring off into space not even realizing the sound of the bell ringing. I sighed and got off the couch. I went upstairs and into the bedroom seeing Jay sitting up against the bunch of fluffed pillows behind him.
"Hey can you make me a sandwich please" He put his hands together with a pleading face.
1 week. A whole week of playing a damn caretaker. I know in sickness and in health blah blah. But he rings this damn bell for everything he need, no matter how minimal or big it is. Its excessive to say the least.
Excessive and annoying.
I flashed a fake smile before heading back downstairs. I went into the kitchen and got the stuff out the fridge, slamming the fridge close, I carried the condiments to the counter.
I stopped for a second staring at the counter, mayonnaise, lunch meat, a bell pepper, spinach and cheese.
This is what my future looks like, me being here. Continuing on with this lie. This fucking lie. I'm losing myself in this...thing. Im more irritable which in turn makes me feel bad because I know its not his fault.
My infidelity isn't his fault. Yet when my frustration arises like sharp daggers he's my target.
My longing and yearning for her only makes me despise and resent him more.
I grabbed the bread and begin prepping. Slathering a generous amount of mayo.
Putting three slices of lunch meat on both slices of bread.
Particular, very particular.
The sensation of her warm lips on my neck, her hands gently gripping me. She held me like she was hungry for me, like I was a forbidden treasure that she wasn't supposed to yearn for.
I closed my eyes pressing more of my weight against the counter. I sucked in sharply through my teeth. I put the sandwich together and went upstairs. I walked into the bedroom seeing Jay, he looked up from his phone while clearing his throat he met my gaze.
I approached the bed and gave him the sandwich, he smiled at me before digging in.
He let out a satisfactory moan and closed his eyes. He was in pure bliss.
He was happy.
His heart was full in this moment...
"I've been fucking your best friend" I said and low-key startled myself.
Startled by me actually getting it out.
He swallowed the food that was in his mouth and met my gaze again. This time he had the look of pity on him. Part of him was processing the information as factual and the other part was thinking this was some sick joke.
"Wha-"
"I uh.... I've been fucking kehlani for the past few months now...I'm not admitting to this because I plan on hitting you with the "I want to work things out" speech, instead I want to let you go yknow...stop lying to you and sneaking around"
"Are you going to date her....is that it?" He began to grow angry
I stayed silent and he launched the sandwich in my direction hitting me on my chest. I looked down watching the bits of lettuce slowly slide down my shirt and then down on my thigh then to the floor.
I looked back at him and he was looking down at his hands shaking his head.
"Look i dont want-"
"Shut the fuck up...just shut the fuck up you boring bitch! You are fucking boring, this "affair" is the only thing that bought excitement to your pitiful ass boring life...you would be NOTHING without me, you owe me bitch and im going to prove that to you"
Part of me didn't give a fuck about everything he just said and the other part of me was very hurt. All in all ultimately it didnt matter, I still subjected him to unnecessary pain, so maybe i did deserve that.
I nodded and grabbed my keys off the dresser as he continued to throw more harsh words, rhetoric and energy at me.
I left out, got in my car and drove.
I didnt think, only drove.
~
I put the car in park and sighed as the rain poured extremely roughly. I took in a deep breath before getting out the car, closing the door, running halfway down the block to the house. I ran up to the door and walked in. I awkwardly sped walked across the lobby to the elevators but got detected by the desk's person.
"Excuse me ma'am, I need to see your ID as there has been a increase of violence in the are- Ma'am, MA'AM"
I rushed to the elevator and frantically pressed the button. The doors opened and I pressed the eighth floor button.
I made a left and then walked down the hallway until I seen the right door number.
Once I was in front of it, I knocked on the door as if I were police. Not literally.
The door opened and she was there, squinting at me beneath her adorable silver rimmed glasses.
"w-what are you doing here?"
"can I come in please"
~
I walked out the bathroom with the sweet clean smelling towel wrapped around my body. I made me way to the bed and sat down. Taking it all in.
Keh walked into the bedroom with a mug and gave me a warm smile.
I smiled back and she sat by my side and handed me the mug. I gratefully took it and she motioned for me to turn my back to her.
I did so and she began to massage me. I moaned a bit, melting. I took a sip of the perfectly warm hot chocolate.
"It's good mamita?" She asked, her voice dangerously tempting low and soft.
I nodded and she leaned into me more, her arms gripping me a little bit tighter against her body. I sipped more of the hot chocolate, feeling complete authentic solace.
Keh took the mug, placing it on the nightstand.
"Lay down, get some rest mi vida"
She climbed under the covers and I did the same. She laid on her back and I laid my head on her chest and closed my eyes.
This is home.
