I'll be okay.

534 10 8
                                    

I'd isolated myself from everything for a while. It sucked.
I sat in my bed all day, I didn't eat, I barely slept. I don't remember the last time I showered. The only time I ever left my room was to make videos for our YouTube. I truly hope this isn't how Nick felt when we were younger.
He always isolated himself from me, Matt and Chris. People thought we were triplets.
Everything around me made me sad. Even the comfort of my own brothers.

9:43pm

I decided I should go and grab a glass of water to satisfy my dry lips.
I slowly walked downstairs to find my brothers on the couch. I sighed, not wanting to see anyone.
"Hey Bailey."
"Hii"
"Heyy"
They all greeted me.
"Hi." I replied, that's all that I had energy to do.
I walked into the kitchen and Chris followed me for some reason.
Once I made my glass of water I heard Chris's voice which made me jump a bit.
"Wanna watch a movie with us?" He asked.
"No thanks." I answered whilst tying my hoodie strings.
"C'mon Bailey, you've barely left our room all week."
"I said no thanks." I was trying not to get mad.
"It's not healthy, just watch something with us it's not difficult." He said as he began to get angry himself.
"Are you fucking deaf? I said no." I don't know why he wasn't taking a hint.
"Oh for fuck sake, you're always in our room! You never do anything! Not even for our channel. Your ruining the channel if anything!"

I stopped for a moment. I really wasn't doing anything for the channel was I?
I barely talked in car videos. I smiled like once in them and I zoned out the other half.

I didn't know what I was doing until my fist collided with his face.

I punched him..

He fell to the ground, holding his face in pain.
My other brothers ran in.

I stumbled backwards, my hands covering my mouth. I hurt my brother.

"Bailey what the fuck did you do?!" Nick yelled as he kneeled next to Chris.

"I- I didn't me- mean t-to." I stuttered, shaking.

"Just go to your room!" Matt yelled.

He said my room meaning he wanted me to be away from Chris. Even though we all shared a room, we had our own room just for if we needed a break from each other or some privacy.

I immediately ran to my room, slamming the door behind me. I was so mad at myself.

I hated my room. It was cold and fairly empty. I hadn't been in it for a while and I forgot how much I hated it.

My room:

Sure you'd think it was cozy but not for me

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Sure you'd think it was cozy but not for me. I wanted my brothers.

I was so mad at myself. I hurt my brother. How could I do such a thing.
What's wrong with me.
I grabbed my blade from my phone case and stared at it for a moment.
I slid down the wall with my sleeves up.

My brothers would want this.

Yes, they'd be thrilled.

Chris would forgive you if you did this.

Do it.

Without another thought I cut my arms.

1..

4..

6..

11..

18..

25..

32..

40..

56..

65..

I dropped the blade with my arms dripping in blood. I let out a small whimper. I cleaned them up and put a ransom hoodie on.
I just layed in bed, staring at the ceiling.

I couldn't believe I hurt my brother.

10:26pm

I heard a small knock on my door. I knew it was Nick by the way he knocked.
I didn't reply, I didn't have the energy.

"Can I come in?" I heard the boy say from the other side.
"Mhm." I hummed quietly but loud enough for him to hear me. I didn't look over at him, I just stayed laying straight with my hands in my pockets and my eyes on the ceiling.

He sat down next to me and sighed.
I expected a lecture but I was wrong.

"It's not your fault." He paused.
"I mean yeah punching him was kinda your fault but I understand where you were coming from. He can be a dick head and he shouldn't have said that."
I moved my head so that I could see him. Tears escaped my eyes as he pulled me into a hug.
We stayed like that for a while.

"I'm gonna apologize to him." I said, standing up.
I clearly stood up to fast and I almost fell but Nick grabbed my arm before I could.
I winced in pain.
"Hey take it eas-" he paused for a moment realizing what just happened.
"Bail (nickname), why did that hurt?" He asked with confusion all over his face.
"I- I don- it didn't." I say smiling slightly.
"Bailey. Show me your wrists." He demanded sounding stern.
I shook my head before quickly running out of my room.
I made it to the living room before he caught me. He pulled me by my hood, causing me to fall to the ground.
I was crying but I tried to quiet down when I saw my 2 brothers on the couch.
Matt was sat up, Chris was leaning on his chest. Chris was half asleep from what I could see. I was backing away from Nick, still on the floor. (Basically what I mean is pushing with your feet and moving your arms back so you're moving backwards whilst kinda sitting on the floor. Hope u understand.)
"Bailey, show me your wrists." He repeated.
"N-nick leave i- it." I stuttered, still crying.
I'd caught Matt's attention.
He gently pulled Chris off of him, receiving a whine from the boy. He didn't have a clue what was happening.
"I'm not gonna ask again." Nick said as Matt walked over to me
"Show. Me. Your. Wrists." Nick sounded mad. I was scared.
I didn't move. I didn't speak. I didn't even blink.
Whilst I was concentrated on Nick, Matt pulled my left sleeve up.

"NO! STOP!" I yelled, trying to hide my arm before he saw it.
I was too late.

Nick's eyes widened, whilst Matt's filled with tears.
"Why would you do that to yourself Bailey?" Nick asked.
"I hurt Chris." I sobbed.
I let it out.
I started crying hysterically with my head in my knees.
I heard Matt whisper.
"Oh my God." As he flipped over my arm, revealing more cuts.

Apparently I'd got Chris's attention too now because I heard him run over to me.
"Oh shit,kid" He whispered in a soft tone.
He hugged me.
"It's gonna be okay." He said rubbing my back.
I looked up at the long haired boy, sniffling.
"Bu- but I h-hurt you." I stammered, pointing to the bruise on his face.
"It doesn't matter, that doesn't matter. I love you kid."
"I love you too."
All 3 boys wrapped their arms around me. I fell asleep like that.
That's the best way I could've fallen asleep. The warmth and love of my 3 favorite people.
I'm gonna be okay.

Author speakss~

Another short one but I hope you enjoyed, btw I'm still taking requests I'm currently working on a requested chapter but yeah if u have any ideas message me and I'll do them.
Anyways byee tysm for reading.

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