Returned to me

Chapter Nine

June 1951,

Joanna walks up to the front porch being transported in time. James looked just like John and Joey in the soft, almost out porch light. He sat back in the rocker smoking slowly on his cigarette. It was the same brand they used to smoke. A hollow feeling replaces the joy she felt with Jamie. "Already out getting a new husband?" His bitterness was laced in his question. She felt stunned by it.

"Excuse me?" He felt like a stranger to her. He had no right to go off making such audacious comments. He lazily points in the direction she just walked from. He sips on his beer looking at her. "No." She answers curtly.

"Mom thinks you are."

She pauses, maybe he wasn't being a jerk. Maybe he was trying to be brotherly? "Really?" She sits down in the rocker next to him. She runs her hands along the worn wood. This was the chair Joey would sit at giving her the floor. He nods his yes barely amused. "I'm not surprised... She never really approved of Jim." She adds cautiously.

"Yeah," He agrees. "No one did."

"Was it because he was from New York and rich?"

"No, because it meant you were never coming home." There was pain in his voice and she heard it. She looked at her little brother seeing his pain for the first time. "You always said you would come home after the war, but instead, you got married."

"I did say that..." She didn't have much else to say to him. She, truthfully, didn't want to relive how it used to be. She wanted to forget it as much as possible even if that was impossible. "Goodnight, James."

She walked back inside finding Amelia sprawled out in the middle of their shared bed. She changed into her pajamas before taking the small piece of bed left for her. Her mind was wide awake and unable to shut off. She willed to turn it off as it traveled back in time to the past. Jamie, her brothers, and everyone else in between. She needed to focus on the present even though Jamie had returned to her in near full force.

She had a horrible night's rest. Her head pounded and cracked from the pain. She takes a sip of her orange juice as Amelia colors and eats breakfast. The house was still except for the few snaps of crackling bacon being cooked. Her mom plopped one onto Amelia's plate and another on her plate. "Thank you," She nearly whispered.

"Going to church with me today?"

"Um," Joanna didn't know if she wanted to. Her head was in too much pain to sit through a sermon. Her eyes glanced down to her daughter who looked bored. "I guess."

They enter the bustling sanctuary later that morning. The loud voices were unbearable. This was her fourth service since coming back. They were now at the end of the month and preparing for the Fourth of July. There were American flags decorated everywhere. She smiled as the Fourth of July was one of her favorite holidays. It was the only time her parents didn't argue. She didn't know why the Fourth of July and Christmas were the more peaceful holidays in her house.

"Little Jo," She hugs her uncle as he greets her passing. The excitement about her returning home had finally dialed down. No longer were people lining up to greet her. It finally settled down and gave her room to breathe.

"Alrighty everyone!" The pastor calls out as the choir stands up to lead everyone in worship. "Let us find our seats and prepare our hearts to worship the lord."

The songs Amazing Grace, How Great Thou Art, and It is Well were sung with beautiful harmonies by the choir and off-key by the congregation. She smiled even though the congregation didn't sound nearly as perfect it was a sweet noise. She looks over as her daughter sways with the music of It is Well. She sang the lyrics having them resonate in her.