Regrets and Sorrow || KTH✅

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"Abort it Y/n, we aren't keeping the baby. " These words made your whole world crash down in front of your eyes.

"Taehyung-"

"No Y/n, I'm sorry but we can't keep the baby, you know it very clearly why we can't. Please don't." Tears welled from his eyes, he kept trembling, falling apart, his mind and heart thinking in very separate ways, not keeping him sane either for a moment.

"Tae, let's talk over this, such decisions aren't made overnight, we will overcome this. Trust me." You pulled him into the living room and made him sit on the sofa, and beside him was you.

"Y/n, you know it very well why I'm saying this. Then why? Why don't you try seeing it from my side? It's not safe. It's not good. Try to understand, please." He spoke, clasping his hands together, as sweat emerged in his palms.

"Everything is alright as far as we are together, Tae. Nothing will go wrong. I'm with you- "

"NO Y/n, we can't predict the future! What if I turn out like them? I will never want anyone to go through the same I've been through. I can't y/n, please I can't! " He cried more and more, pulling out his hair in frustration.

You took his hand out from his hair, keeping yours above his, trying to soothe out the uneasy male in front of you. "No, you will never become one like them. I trust you, Tae. You are not like them, you can never be cruel on an innocent soul. "

"Damn it! Why don't you understand the situation y/n. I'm not in a position to have a baby right now. We will think about this in future, but not right now. We can't, we just can't keep the baby for now, what if I end up hurting you both in any way, I won't be able to forgive myself ever in my life. I'm sorry y/n, but I can't help myself with these feelings. It's not easy for me."

"You will never turn like them. It's you who is not trying to understand things, Taegyung. This child is a blessing to us, and you want me to get rid of this? Seriously! Then hear me out, I'm not getting rid of this. How can you say this to our unborn child? Think of it yourself, Taehyung."

"Their blood rushes in my body, and you are saying I'll never turn like them. And look at us, have we ever fought with each other in our lives like this? We are already arguing just when you are pregnant, how can you be so sure that nothing will go wrong in future? "

"We are arguing just because you are not understanding this situation and making theories in your brain. I want you to think calmly, and not to rush to a decision."

You sighed deeply, before continuing.

"Do you even know how badly I wanted to have a child of our own Taehyung? I wanted us to feel parenting together. I wanted a child to call me mom. I wanted to feel motherhood. But I never urged all this to you just because of your insecurities, I wanted you to tell me yourself that you are ready to become a father. That you are ready to overcome your past, but how wrong I was, you proved me wrong, Tae. You are not thinking straight right now, you are not believing me that everything will be alright."

Tears streamed through your eyes, but you wiped them away, because you have to face this, you can't just stand here doing nothing and giving up on your unborn child. As a mother, you will fight for it, even if he's your husband you loved dearly.

"Why do you feel so insecure about yourself? Was I not able to heal you all this time? Was ten years not enough for you to overcome your past? Where did I go wrong that you are asking me to give up on our child, our symbol of love? Tell me why you are asking me to give up, Tae? Because I don't know the reason and you being not ready is not making me understand either."

You told him the urges you have kept hidden in your heart. You felt the burden on your heart lessen, but a new burden weighted more than the past one.
He was shocked hearing you might be an understatement. Along with his body his mind feared an unknown feeling. He also wanted to be a father, but his insecurities never got rid of his mind.

You were true. You have been with him for the past ten years, the trauma he had was healed by your love. But was it still there? The trauma was given by none other than his parents. The effect of them was too harsh on his body and mind, but you healed him all these years by your unconditional love for him.

His parents were never on good terms with each other. And their pent up frustration would always be welled up on a young boy, who was carving nothing but his parents' love. The shouting and screaming turned into physical beating.

He was so scared to come out to anyone about this. He kept his feelings to himself and was dying inside until he met you. You being the bubbliest soul alive wanted to be friends with the mute guy in your school.

With  a lot of courage in his mind, he tried to open up with you cause he found you the only one who has never judged him in any aspect. The innocent friendship turned into blooming something new to the young hearts. The pure love towards each other is still there, like you found on the first day.

The wounds given by them physically were never more than your love to him. But why things aren't going the way you desire?

At the legal age of being independent, he ran away from them with you. He couldn't tolerate them anymore. Working many part times to help him with his studies, he never gave up on himself nor on you.

Your parents were supportive of you both, and it felt like a blessing to him. Your parents have asked him several times to file a case against them of child violence but he couldn't, they were his parents. He believed karma will get back to them.

After two years he found his parents filed divorce and his mother asked for a huge amount of alimony and his fathers company was already going bankrupt. He would never want to face them again and he did that.

He started his own company after completing his studies, and got married to you right away. The company is doing great for now and is known as the fastest growing company in a very short span of time. He made you proud and himself too.

Everything was going alright in your life, but he was internally scared of being a parent because of the traumatized past. He beilived that he would also turn like his father and will do physical abuse to you both. He still scares that.

The thought itself makes him go crazy. But he has to overcome this. He can't let his insecurities ruin his presence and future. He has to think of a solution for this problem.

"I need some time to think about this." He stood up from his place, grabbing his overcoat and car keys as he walked out of the house leaving you behind.

"I want your answer as yes, Taehyung." He heard your wobbly voice, and his heart pained.

He had promised himself he would never hurt you in any way, and tears will never be able to make into your eyes. But everything came wrong today. He was the reason you were crying, he felt miserable.

He didn't know where to go. The night he thought he would be spending with his wife after a month-long wait had turned into distancing again. He sat in his car, with no place to go in his mind. He stared at nothing but his mind full of your words, crying out his heart with a depressed mind.

Who was wrong that the situation turned out like this? Did you not understand him fully? Or was he not ready to let go of his past?

To be continued.