ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇ, ʜᴀɴ | ꜱᴛʀᴀʏ ᴋɪᴅꜱ - Book 1

Dear Minho,

September 14th, 2022,

"I hope this letter finds you in a good place. I hope you're happy with Yuki and your new life.

I remember when we were younger and we talked about what we dreamed our wedding days would look like, and you said you always dreamed of me being by your side as your best man and how I would give a funny toast to make you, your bride, and your family laugh.

I on the other hand thought of being by your side in a different role, knowing you'd never know about how I felt toward you I buried my feelings trying not to show them.

I wanted to tell you that I've always been in love with you but I've always been too scared to tell you, every time I saw you my heart broke. For you to be happy I had to sacrifice my happiness and be there for everything that had to do with your wedding when you invited me.

These past few months have been the hardest to endure, watching you and her planning the wedding. Though I felt my heart break every time you two were together, seeing you happy made me smile.

I woke up to a birthday text from you this morning and I felt my heart warm, then I received one from Yuki reminding me of what else is today, your wedding...

I wish I could be there for you but I've been in a dark place for months, seeing you happy is all I wanted.

And I wanted you to be the last person I contact before I leave... for good.

I'll miss you and your bright smile and that silly side of you, you never show to other people, and how you would cook for me every time I got sick or had to study for a test.

I have asked your mom to give you this letter because I just can't face you or else my heart would burst and I would pour my heart out to you.

I hope you and Yuki have a wonderful and amazing life together and I hope you two are happy.

Though I'll be gone, I hope you'll think of me and look back on our happy childhood memories.

After our fight last week, I couldn't stand doing anything talking, eating, breathing. I miss you, I know you'll never know how much I loved you but I wanted to write this letter to you to remind you that I'll always be here. In one way or another even if not physically, I hope that I can still make you laugh the way I used to when we were younger.

I'm sorry, I'll see you again, someday

All The Love,
𝑯𝒂𝒏"

I started crying as I wrote the letter and put it in its envelope, I feel cold and I feel my tears flowing down my face right now. I put the letter on my doorstep and went back to my living room where I've been spending the last few weeks, sleeping and watching TV, I haven't felt like eating anything no matter what if I try I'll just throw it up again.

All I want to do is end the pain.

I took my pills and drank my water. I laid down and made myself comfortable one last time. I stared at the wall only hearing silence other than my dryer running. I felt my pain slowly drifting away and my heartbeat slowed down.

"Finally, it doesn't hurt anymore."

I whispered as everything went dark but, I heard my front door slam open and a shout

Suddenly everything stopped...