Under the Mask. {Ninjago One shot Lloyd]

Under The Mask

Lloyd has always worn a mask. It probably started when his dad got sent to the cursed realm, leading up to Harumi and his dad disowning him in a way. Lloyd had different ways to cope. Sometimes if the pain was too much, he'd cut. Sometimes he'd just go somewhere outside alone, and...think. Sometimes he spent nights in bed just staring at the ceiling or wall. Something blank.

If the Ninja's noticed, then they didn't say anything. Lloyd had gotten really good at keeping a mask on. Not letting anyone come close to the real him. And everyone bought it. He laughed with them, went out with them, joked around with them. But he felt hallow.

Everything Harumi had done, just striped him inside out. Sometimes he did get a little joyful. Sometimes. Some laughs and smiles were real. Some. Lloyd honestly forgot how to live without pain. His life was full of it. The Ninja just thought he just shrugged off everything. But under the mask...He was different.

Under the mask he was weak. Fearful. Scared. Traumatized. Striped of hope. The hope he once had, was a long time ago. He thought, he might get better. Stronger. And in some ways he did. Not all good ways. He felt so exhausted all the time.

On his guard all the time in case someone like Harumi would pop up. Or his dad—Garmadon would...change. It felt impossible now, lying on his bed in the dark. He felt so hopeless. So...lost. And he hated it! He hated feeling this way! He wanted to be happy again, hopeful! He wanted to feel the love the Ninja's generated around him.

But something held him back. So, he laid in the darkness. Feeling cut off from this world. Feeling so pathetic and weak! He Wanted it to stop. He did! He didn't like feeling the pain! But...now pain was his...compass. His way to cope. His way of reality. Will I ever feel the love? He asked himself, time and time again. Will I ever feel free? Will I ever feel hope again? Will I ever be able to laugh again without it leaving a bitter taster in my mouth?

But that's what it does. It eats at your mind. It tells you millions of lies. You try to suffocate it, make it go away. But it always comes back. And if you let it, you'll never ever be free. Never feel love again. Never have happiness. That's how Lloyd felt. And he couldn't stop it. He wanted to cry out, making whatever it was to let go. To ask for help. But that would be weakness.

So, Lloyd laid on his bed in the darkness. Silent tears ever slowly dripping with the falling raindrops outside. Careful to not let his mask slip. And that's Lloyd. Under the mask.

So. There it is. I was very sad as I wrote this. But in a way it's true. Imagine how Lloyd feels. And some people may go through this. I'm praying for y'all {who feel this way and in general} to find some hope. For all who are lost on the path, to find their way back again. To feel love. Ur never weak. A weak person is someone who lives w/ something like this and doesn't ask for help.

Ur never not loved or pathetic. U are cheirished. {I can't spell anymore lol}

I won't babble on anymore {for now mwahahaha}, but, I hope u find comfort in this. See ya pickles next time!!