lost void

I'm crying. I'm crying uncontrollably. This sadness building upon me feels like I'm stuck in a void that won't stop getting bigger. And you can't see anything but trying and craving for someone to reach out to you and pull them in your arms.
When I'm about to lose it, I feel like a little child, who's waiting by the front door, begging, crying trying to get someone's attention in the house. But nobody shows up, so the child ends up on the porch, freezing, heart broken, cold, unsettled, sick. That's what the beginning of my sadness feels like. When I end up crying I can't stop. It starts as spitting rain, to a bathtub, to a running tap water, to a lake, then river, and then the ocean. It just keeps on coming. I'll be so tired of crying I can't stop crying. I'll lay there in my bed, tears rolling down my face, accepting that I can't stop. And when nobody is there or that specific person doesn't text back, it makes it worse, it's like a fear of abandonment. You don't want to be alone and try every way to be with someone. But end up all alone. Writing in your notes telling it the most deepest shit that nobody would ever know. But I'm making a promise that when I find the end to this void I'm stuck in, I will find a ladder, and climb until I get out of it, it may take forever, or I might not make it in time. But whatever happens, you should do it too. make a promise to your loved ones, tell them that you'll be happy soon. Even in the void, you might not see anyone, but someone is watching you from above and they are by your side, even if you can't see them. You are never alone. Don't be scared to talk to them. Because it's not the same as talking to yourself. Your not alone. Someday that little child will enter a home, feeling happy, and wanted, even loved. But that child has to get there by choosing the best option. Move on. Keep on going forward. Even if your back at the start. But escape that void. It's not a nice place to stay at.

I love you.