Listen, this is my story, not yours.okay?
I just really don't know what to do with myself. Nobody ever just randomly checks on me, nobody cares enough to do that.The times they do ask me if I am when I act sad I have to lie because i don't want to push burdens on to them.I don't want to cause a problem.I'm so tired of fake smiling and acting hyper.I don't want to hurt them with my sadness.It would be a big deal, just kidding I doubt anybody would care even after that.They don't care at all.I always push the people that care about me away and stop talking to them because I feel like they hate me, who am I kidding I feel like everybody hates me.They can't handle me, im "to hyper" and I am an idiot with bad grades so everybody just automatically thinks I'm okay because I'm always acting happy.I wish I could be smarter for them.I wish I could be happy.I wish I didn't have to pretend.I wish I was okay.They all hate me and even if they say they don't im convinced otherwise.I want to jump into there arms crying but I'm scared, what if they get mad?What if I make them sad?What if it's wrong to do?What if they make jokes about it?What do I do?I feel like I am to much for them.They make jokes about my weight, my size, me being to skinny, my acne.I can't fucking do this.I laugh at the jokes and it keeps coming back at me.I don't want to upset them.I don't want them to be mad at me.I have a lot of friends yet I feel so god dang lonely.When I text people, it takes them a while to reply or they reply quick and I'm just being too hyper and they eventually stop talking to me.Is something wrong with me, do they not care? no, they think it's funny because I laugh at there jokes.It's not their fault, they don't know it makes me sad.
-next chapter on the next part-
YOU ARE READING
A Vent Book
SpiritualVent:Telling the reason you are sad to somebody-stuff like insecurities- -INCLUDES SAD TOPICS-
