Last Friday Night ~ tamber

19 ~ 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆'𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒔

I've been lying on the bed for two hours, fighting with myself not to text the dealer. I locked myself in my room and didn't let my mom come in. She seemed too positive about my reunion with Jill. She always liked her. Everything pisses me off so much. We were caught. And I gave in like some teenager in love...Why am I so dumb?

Tara and Mindy are still texting me. I'm sick of them, they keep asking me about Jill. Mindy has already sent me three paragraphs about how if I don't text back, I'm probably getting fucked.

I can't. Fucking Jill. She did all this just to feel the power she has over me. She must be feeling amazing right now. She won, I let her.

I quickly got out of bed with my phone and texted a few chicks. There are a lot of parties in the town today. I need a fun time now more than anything else. I don't have time for any makeup and just wear whatever. I'll just make sure I have a turtleneck. No one needs to see these hickeys. Everyone wants me anyway, even when I look terrible.

I ran downstairs hoping to not meet my mother. I don't need her talking about how great Jill is and that I need to get along with her again. I knew she wouldn't stay with me, that it would just be sex and she would leave. I fell into her trap again. Just a few words about "us" were enough.

I will forget about her today. I will forget about each one. I'll get blazed until I puke or die. Dead, I won't have to worry about the shit I got myself into.

I left the house and I see Tara in the driveway. What? Why the hell did she come here?

— What the fuck are doing here? — I asked angry

I only stopped when our bodies collided. I expected her to get out of my way.

— I was worried.

I raised my eyebrows for a moment. Worried? Or maybe just nosy?

— There's nothing to worry about. Go home.

I tried to walk past her but she grabbed my arm and stopped me.

— Where are you going? You look nervous.

I laughed and pulled out of her grip. What the fuck am I supposed to be like? Do I have any reason to be fucking happy?

— Don't meddle Tara, really.

— I want to help. Talk to me.

— About?! — I shouted at her - You've been annoying me for five hours!

She looked at me sadly then turned her head away. Did she think that spamming my phone would somehow help?

— I...I thought something was wrong.

— It was. It is. But I'm on my way to forget about it.

I turned around and walked towards the car. She ran and stood in front of me, blocking my way.

— I'm guessing you won't be sober? You want drugs? Right? — she asked and sighed

— Probably — I shrugged and smirked — What do you think, ecstasy or mephedrone? We fucked after mephedrone.

I actually don't know what it was. But I guess it was strong one because I don't remember a thing.

She looked around to see if anyone was there when I said that. She's still afraid someone will find out. I wonder if it's just her fear of being exposed or her shame about me.

— Don't take anything. We can go anywhere you want, do whatever you want, just don't do drugs.

— Oh, shut up Tara — I told her and she gritted her teeth — Do not lecture me.