My life was miserable. Every inch of me wanted it to end and it was time I gave up. The crosswalk in front of me seemed the absolute solution when I decided to give in to my inner voices. Until..a fluffy ball came running to me. Only, I didn't know...
Conflict arose. My heart and mind have been at each other's throats since. My mind couldn't control my heart from following her. My eyes longed for even the slightest glimpse I could get of that girl.
But what could I ask for? I was underqualified for someone like her, she had a kind heart, but all i had was a broken one, a tormented one. what if I ruin the smile I saw on her yesterday, or on the days she passed by my class hanging out with her friends?
But the thought of wanting her, of seeing her almost all the time, being friends with her, imagining her in ways I shouldn't, all remained static. But what didn't was the roller coaster of a life that I had. I couldn't be by her side when I was breathing, but now I have a chance. I would continue to be by her side when she needs someone.
I don't regret dying that day for her, but I do regret of not having a life where I could hold her hand and let her know that it was okay, that she deserves the world.
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But by the time she wakes up I wish to be gone, I wish she never sees me this way. I've wanted to be looked at by those very eyes I once, and still adore. And yet, fate has always been biased in bringing me down. Even then, why am I here? Why am I beside you when I cant even wake you up from this? When I cant even help you from giving up on your life? I want you to have the life you dreamt off y/n.
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I want to see those range of emotions in your face again, but mostly your eyes gleaming and your lips widening to the smile that suffocated my heart into beating faster than it could handle.
The wind from the open window flew by the room, lighting up her face, letting her hair strands fall back to her face. The sight made me smile but it inadvertently teared me up. There is a droplet of tear prepared to roll down my face and I cant stop it from shedding y/n, I cant stop myself from feeling the pain of losing you to life like this while I lost my chance to death.
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You squint open your eyes when something cold fell on your face, something that felt like a tear droplet, weighing more than it should.
