Once Upon an Old Maid

USTĀDH ADAM

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The first man to have ever sought my hand in marriage was Ustādh Adam.

In retrospect, isn't it poetically perfect? His name, Adam?

He was good member of society and apparently had had his eyes on me for a good long while, patiently awaiting my graduation from Secondary School.

He ran a thriving provision store, was always willing to sell on credit and was polite when turning people down.

He hardly ever got involved in any skirmish except to settle between the disputing parties.

He was married with two children at the time and he steered clear of other women. In fact, he didn't lift his gaze when he spoke to a woman.
These were amongst the praiseworthy qualities that earned him the title of 'Ustādh' even though he was nobody's teacher.

He was meticulous in his appearance.
A comb was always in the pocket of his well ironed thobe which he used to comb out his sparse beards.
He was very dark, his eyes were a dull yellow while his palms and soles were a sharp yellow.

In my mind, I used to call him Black 'n' Yellow.

I always passed in front of his shop every Wednesday through Saturday on my way to Islamiyyah.
I'd greet him in passing if he was outside his shop and he'd answer in his brisk manner that left no room for cheap cordiality yet didn't raise one's ire because, hey, this was Ustādh Adam.

So I was understandably surprised that as soon as it became public knowledge nationwide that WAEC results were out, he was at our doorstep seeking my father's audience.

I didn't know about it and probably wouldn't have if my mother hadn't called me aside to investigate my innocence or lack of in the matter.
When she was convinced that I had done nothing to encourage his proposal, she warned me off him and men in general.

My father, on his part, must have given the poor man a thorough put down (which I thought and still think unnecessary; a simple no, thank you would have done) so much so that Ustādh never answered my greetings anymore (I was warned not to greet him anyway).

It was excruciatingly awkward and was another reason why I was grateful for my admission when it came; university was the perfect escape.

He was insulted at length in our home for at least a month; by my mother, who else?
Unprovoked, she could say: "Imagine! He came asking to marry my daughter right after she passed her WAEC; does he think she wrote all those exams to seek admission into the marital institution?!"

Or if we were walking on the street went by his shop or came across him at some other place, she'd say something like:
"Ehn? And look at him oo. With the way he is always ducking his head you'd think he cannot see where he's going much less see a woman but here we are!"

To think that just weeks prior, she used to sing his praises about how he made "this ahli Sunnah thing actually likable."

Now that I'm an Ahlu-s Sunnah myself, she sometimes blames my unmarried state upon my new lifestyle but we both know she's wrong on that.

In case you're wondering, Ustādh Adam is no longer an option on my nuptial menu for many reasons top of which is that he passed away from a brief illness when I was in University leaving behind a wife and four children.

"Now is not your time," Maami had said to me all those years ago after the Ustādh Adam proposal.

Now she's singing a different tune:
"You're well past the reasonable age for marriage, Abefe."

Well, Mama, what can I say?
It was not my time then and maybe my time will never come.

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ISLAMIYYAH: Islamic School
WAEC: West African Examination Council (which is a school leaving examination)

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