i found myself again, drowning my own self with thoughts. what if's and maybe's. jealousy, creeps inside of me. i'm confused, because jealousy didn't hurt before, it only squeezed me. but now, it had its hands wrapped around my neck, as if being choked, i find it difficult to breathe. no, this wasn't jealousy. this is pain, sorrow, emptiness. that was worse. i can't help but to constantly think how easily i was let go of.
i tried to be better.
i didn't want to let go. there was a part of me that wanted to keep holding on. and then it hit me. what if i was the only one left who wanted to keep going? and as we both rested, only one of us wanted to continue. one left, and the other one waited. one tried, and the other one got tried. and it's funny, because hear this, no matter how much i tried to run after you, you were just... simply unreachable. and it's not because i didn't try hard enough. it was because you wanted to leave.
i was haunted by you, and it hurts. but this was the only time i could ever hold you again.
thus, a realization: you can't force someone to stay when all they've ever wanted was to leave.
i found myself again, drowning my own self with tears. every night was a blur. suffocating, it truly is.
- she was dearly loved ; 1998
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When The Wind Whispers
RandomThis is a compilation of my stories, and are all based from the author's creative mind. I consider writing as a way of expressing myself. Moving on is something easier said than done. I have created this compilation to collect my thoughts whenever...
