The secret

Chapter 1

It's been three years now, only Cartman knows the truth.. now you might be asking, why Cartman out of everyone? Well.. I guess you can say he was the one I trusted the most at the time.

I'm Leopold Butters Stotch or at least that's what my dead name is, I go bye Leah Marjorine Stotch now, kind of hard to believe that the most innocent kid in South Park changed genders, no? At around the age of ten I began to question my gender, I've always loved dressing up in dresses and doing my hair, up until high school I realized it was because I'm transgender, well gender-fluid. I trusted Cartman with this secret because I knew he wouldn't tell anyone. No one else knows, I plan on telling them soon though. I've let my hair grow out a bit more, and I wear clips in my hair. I'm assuming that's what makes people think I'm gay, I don't mind if course, but I still find it wrong.. is that weird?

My parents are very well known in South Park, I guess you can say they had an incident with a drone back when I was in elementary school, but if I'm being honest, it was basically my fault. But that's an entire different story.

I have a friend, his name is Kenny, he's not like all the other people in South Park though, I feel like I can tell him anything. But I can't bring myself to tell him I'm gender-fluid, I don't know why.. I guess you can say it's a crush? Im not so sure.. I feel like if I tell him about me being gender-fluid it'll ruin things between us, and I really like being around him..

"Butters honey! Come on you're going to be late to school!" Oh shoot I forgot about school! My mom is going to be so mad at me.. "Coming mom!"

I shut my journal and ran downstairs, "sorry mom I couldn't find my other shoe"

"Of course you couldn't. I mean look at those clips! No man should be wearing those!" She looked angrier than usual, I'm assuming dad and her got into an argument this morning because there was a mess in the kitchen and my dad wasn't home.

"Right, sorry mom.." I sighed as I walked out of the house. My house isn't that far away from the school.. so I can just walk there, now you might be asking, what's "the journal" well my online therapist told me to write about everything going on in my life in there, she said it would help me become more confident, my parents don't know about my therapist, if they do find out I'll get in trouble and I'll get grounded. I make sure to always carry my journal with me!

~

Back at school, I go inside the classroom and take a seat at my desk, Mr. Garrison is running late again, I reached into my backpack to take out the journal. As I look for the hello kitty covered book I couldn't see it. I take a few seconds to remember what happened.. I forgot my journal at my house.. oh geez..

~

After a full day of being anxious I ran back home hoping my parents didn't look in my room, I walked inside and my mom was in the kitchen, I sneaked my way past her and into my room. I stood at the door for a moment before opening it, my eyes grew in shock, my room was a mess. There was things scattered in the ground, my dresses on my bed and my hair clips in the trash.. I dropped my backpack and walked closer to my desk, my journal wasn't there anymore. I stood there looking down at the desk, my eyes were beginning to water, I could feel someone's presence behind me, I sighed as I turned my head.

"Leopold Butters Stotch. You are a gender-fluid pansexual!?" My father was standing at the door holding my journal, I nodded slowly. "And when were you going to tell us!?" I looked down as he stepped towards me.

"I'm sorry.. I was planning to.."

"No! You weren't! A hidden therapist?! A crush on a guy!? What else are you hiding from us!" He slapped me, you could hear the loud thud, I saw my mom look away, she also looked like she was hurt..

"Dad I'm sorry.." I held back my tears as my dad walked out of the room, he looked back in disgust.

"You pack your things and leave." I didn't respond back, I just nodded as he slammed the door, I could hear him and my mom talking, he sounded angry while my mom sounded like she was going to cry.

I finally got enough strength to get up from the floor and start packing my bags, I grabbed my backpack and put some of my dresses and skirts that weren't ripped, a few shirts and socks, I grabbed my laptop, charger, hello kitty plushie and my hair clips and I walked out of the room, I went into the kitchen where my dad and mom were. "You're a fucking disgrace. Take your fucking journal and get out." My dad walked upstairs after slamming the book on the table, my mom looked up at me.

"Honey I'm so sorry.. I love you so much.. and I'm so happy you've found who you truly are.. please find someone who will love you and care for you, I promise I'll never stop thinking about you.. take care.. princess." She held back tears as she handed me my journal and a sack full of food. I gave her a weak smile and walked out of the house.